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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: wwwcollegehumor etc etc

 

Judge Joke

Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement, is that correct? A: Yes. Judge: And these same stairs, did the also go up?


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Totally Weird Joke

Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot. Olie replied, 'We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us. ' This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. 'You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us. 'The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't understand what was going on. The punishment down here was supposed to be the unbearable heat. It wasn't working on these two. He had to ask again what the deal was. Sven replied, 'We are Minnesotans and we just got over a freezing winter. This is really great for Olie and Me. A light flickered in the Devil's mind. He went to the thermostat and turned it off. He thought if the heat wasn't a punishment, maybe he'd give them some freezing temperatures. A little while later the Devil came back to check in on Sven and Olie only to find them cheering and giving each other high fives, happier than ever! The Devil questioned them on their actions and Sven said happily, 'Back home they always said, the Vikings will win the Super Bowl when Hell freezes over!!!'


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Frog Joke

Whats the world weakest animal ? A toad, he croaks if you even touch him !


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Funny Kids Joke

Where do hamsters come from?Hamsterdam!


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College Humor

I give all of these people a DUH! - DOH! - & Woo-hoo!HANDS-DOWN WINNER OF THE IDIOT CORPORATION AWARD! AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. (Let that be a lesson to him!)WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting out to give himself up. (No one ever said you had to be 'smart' to be a cop. )NOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS PLANNED OUT WELL. . . NOT! An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank account. (Maybe he should have pretended to have a brain!)WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. . . READ THIS Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $'127


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Vampire Joke

What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.


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Military Joke

While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messes up and lands on its tail rotor. The landing is so hard it breaks off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remains upright on its skids, sliding down the runway, doing 360s. As the Cobra slides past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this radio exchange takes place: Tower: 'Sir, do you need any assistance?' Cobra: 'I don't know, Tower, we ain't done crashin' yet. '


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Bath Joke

Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I don't need another bath until I'm sixty-five?


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Horse Joke

A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. 'One spur?' asked the saddler. 'Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?' 'No, just one, ' replied the horseman. 'If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!'


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Computer Joke

Why didn't the mouse cross the road? It's cord wasn't long enough!



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