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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: twisted humor etc etc

 

Joke for Speeches

How does an older woman keep her youth?By giving him money!


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Dog Joke - 1

What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow ? Slush puppies !


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Political Joke

Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve. Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.


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Funny Kids Joke

What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?A pigtail!Where do cows go on a Saturday night?To the moo-vies!If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?Plenty of milk!Why did the baby turkey bolt down his food?Because he was a little gobbler!Why did the starstruck chicken cross the road?To see Gregory Peck!What kind of tie does a pig wear?Pig's tie!What is another name for a cow?A lawn-mooer!Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?Because she was afraid someone would caesar!What do you call a pig thief?A hamburglar!


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Military Joke

An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting 'I don't give two hoots for your shoes, man, I'll go and kill my own!' The shopkeeper replied, 'By all means. Just watch out for the two Marines who are doing the same. 'So the Ranger went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. 'They must be the two Marines, ' he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The Marine stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow him, the Marine struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already lay. Together the two Marines threw \r nthe gator onto its back, whereupon one exclaimed 'Damn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!'


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Politics Humor

Build an Ark The Lord said to Noah, 'In six months, I'm going to make it rain until the earth is covered with water and all the evil is destroyed. I want you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the blueprints for the ark. ' Six months passed. The skies began to cloud and rain began to fall. Noah sat in his front yard, weeping. 'Why haven't you built the ark?' asked the Lord. 'Oh, forgive me, ' said Noah. 'I did my best, but so many things happened. 'The blueprints you gave me didn't meet the city's code and I had to change them. Then the city said I was violating the zoning ordinance by building an ark in my front yard, so I had to get a varience. . 'The Forest Service required tree-cutting permits, and I was sued by a state animal rights group when I tried to gather up the animals. 'The EPA required an environmental impact statement concerning the flood. the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plain. 'The IRS seized all my assets, claiming I was trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and the Equal Opportunity Commission said I wasn't hiring enough Croatians. 'I'm sorry, Lord, but I can't finish the ark for at least five years. ' Suddenly the rain stopped, the skies cleared and the sun began to shine. Noah looked up and said, 'Lord, does this mean you're not going to devastate the earth?' 'Right, ' said the Lord. 'The government already has. '


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Bus Joke

A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. There's no room, ' they said. 'It's full up!' 'But you must let me on!' shouted the man. 'Why, what's so special about you?' they asked. I'm the driver, ' replied the man.


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Bumper Stickers - 3

Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.


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Bumper Stickers - 4

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.


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Bumper Stickers - 6

My Kid Had Sex With Your Honor Student



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