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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student travel insurance etc etc

 

Strange Humor

How to catch a polar bear:Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond. Cut a large hole in the ice. Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file. Hide behind a nearby rock. When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!


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Family Comedy Joke

Two Nuts Where Walking Down The Street. One Was A Salted!


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Bath Joke

What dog loves to take bubble baths ? A shampoodle !


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Spiked Humor

What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?IleneWhat do you call a Chinese girl with one leg shorter than the other?Irene


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Elderly People Joke

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. 'How old was your husband?' he asked. 'He was ninety-eight, ' she answered softly. 'Two years oder than I am. ''Really?' the undertaker said. 'Hardly worth going home, wouldn't you say?'


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Dumb People Joke

MEGA MORON AWARDS Tennessee: A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole the bank's video camera, while the camera was remotely recording. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera). Louisiana: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?] Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. New York: As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes Officer. . that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from. ' Ann Arbor:The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.


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Irish Joke

Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the park. They say down on a bench to rest. They overheard voices coming from a secluded spot. Suddenly Mrs. Murphy realized that a young man was about to propose. Not wanting to eavesdrop at such an intimate moment, she nudged her husband and whispered, 'Whistle and let that young couple know that someone can hear them. ' Murphy said, 'Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me. '


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Car and train Joke

Policeman: Why were you speeding? Motorist: I was trying to get away from the crime scene.


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Zodiac Joke

Q: How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Er, two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts, make that two. Is that okay with you?


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Romance Joke

A big fat housewife is on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor, when she suddenly yells to her husband, 'Come here quick, Charlie! I'm paralyzed! I can't get up!' He comes in, takes a look, and says, 'Stand up, you silly old bat. You're kneeling on one of your tits. '



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