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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student summer jobs etc etc


Knock Knock Joke - 2

Knock Knock Who's there ! Amy ! Amy who? Amy for the top!

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School Joke for Kids

A redneck named Clyde died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Clem and Zeke, were sent for. Clem went in first, and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Clem said, Yup, he's burnt real bad; but you'll have to roll him over if you want me to identify him. ' So the mortician rolled the corpse over and Clem looked and said, 'Nope, it ain't Clyde. ' The mortician thought that was rather strange, but proceeded to bring in Zeke to identify the body. After the sheet was pulled back, Zeke took a look and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad; roll him over. ' So, again the mortician rolled the burnt corpse over, and Zeke looked down and said, 'Nope, it ain't Clyde. 'Frustrated, the mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'Zeke answered, 'Well, Clyde had two assholes. ''What!?' The disbelieving mortician asked, 'He had TWO assholes?' 'Yup, that's right, everybody knew Clyde had two assholes. Ever time we went to town, folks would say. . . 'Here comes that thar Clyde with them two assholes!'

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Old age Joke

A young woman on a rough Atlantic crossing was in her cabin undressing then suddenly she was overcome by sea sickness. In a panic she rushed into the corridor and headed for the bathroom. It was not until she collided with an elderly gentleman that she realized she didn't have a stitch of clothing on. Horrified, she let out a shriek. Her fellow sufferer looked at her sadly. 'Don't let it bother you, miss, ' he moaned. 'I'll never live to tell anyone. '

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Frog Joke

What do you say if you meet a toad ? Wart's new !

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Letter Joke

His girlfriend returned all his letters. I bet she marked them 'second class male !'

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Simple Joke

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game. 'I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents, ' she said. 'What do you mean?' he asked. 'Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'

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Job and Office Joke

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. 'Boss, ' he says, 'we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff. ' 'We're short-handed, Smith' the boss replies. 'I can't give you the day off. ' 'Thanks, boss, ' says Smith 'I knew I could count on you!'

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Mom and Dad Joke

Parent's Dictionary of MeaningsDUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblingsPUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. VERBAL: able to whine in wordsWHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house

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Best Joke Online

And God Created Woman. And She was Good. She had 2 arms, 2 legs and 3 breasts. And God asked the woman what she would like to have changed about herself. She asked for her middle breast to be removed. And it was good. She stood with her third breast in her hand and asked God what should be done with the useless boob? And God created Man!

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Answer me this Joke

Why do we drive on parkways when we park on driveways?

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