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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student source etc etc

 

King Kong Joke

Where does King Kong sleep? Anywhere he wants to.


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Fun Funny Joke

One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas, and empty food boxes were on the kitchen counter. When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table and a pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys, and a lamp had been knocked over. He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill or that something terrible had happened to her. He found her in the bedroom still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day had gone. He looked at her, bewildered, and asked, 'What happened here today?'She again smiled and answered, 'You know, every day, you come home from work and ask me what I did today. ''Yes' was his reply. She answered, 'Well, today, I didn't do it!'


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Funny Kids Joke

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?It became a daddy short legs!


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Comedy Joke

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David BissonetteA man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa GaborI'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa GaborWhen a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha GuitryMarriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - MontaigneAfter marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. -- Hemant JoshiA successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana TurnerMarriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. - Mae West'I was married by a judge. . . I should have asked for a jury. '- George BurnsUnknown Author QuotesMarriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore . . . Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. Marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent. Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Behind every successful man stands an amazed Mother-in-Law!When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3. 95 a minute.


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Waiter Joke

Waiter, there is a spider drowning in my soup ! It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !


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Joke for Kids

Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?A1: They both have a black box. A2: Both have a cockpit.


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Monster Joke

Why was the big, hairy, two-headed monster top of the class at school? Because two heads are better than one.


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School Joke

Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare ? Pupil: No Teacher: What have you read then ? Pupil: Umm, I've got red hair !


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Easy to Remember Joke

Good girls say 'thanks for a wonderful dinner'. . . Bad girls say, 'what's for breakfast?'Good girls never go after another girl's man. . . Bad girls go after him AND his brother. Good girls wear white cotton panties. . . Bad girls don't wear any. Good girls wax their floors. . . Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. . . Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls make chicken for dinner. . . Bad girls make reservations. Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies. . . Bad girls know they could do better. Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss. . . Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich. Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. . . Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls. Good girls love italian food. . . Bad girls love italian waiters.


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Bible Joke

Jill: Have you read the Bible? Jack: No, I'm waiting for the film to come round.



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