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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student sluts etc etc

 

Worlds Best Joke

Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding? Not if you are the groom. How many showers is the bride supposed to have? At least one within a week of the wedding. What music is recommended for the wedding ceremony? Anything except 'Tied to the Whipping Post'.


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School Joke for Kids

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had '250


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Farmer Joke

An agriculture student said to a farmer: 'Your methods are too old fashioned. I won't be surprised if this tree will give you less than twenty pounds of apples. ' 'I won't be surprised either, ' said the farmer, 'this is an orange tree'.


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Dirty Joke

You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view.


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Bed Joke

Did you hear about the granny who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster by mistake? She spent the night popping out of bed.


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Pig Joke

FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you? SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.


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Food and Drink Joke

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. 'Oh, I really don't care or mind, ' said the waiter with a smile. 'We don't even have an air conditioner. '


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Common Joke

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. 'There is a blind man to see you, ' she says. 'Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I'm in the shower. Send him in. 'The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: 'That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?


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Instrument Joke

From: Efficiency & Ticket, Ltd. , Management ConsultantsTo: Chairman, The London Symphony OrchestraRe: Schubert's Symphony No. 8 in B minor. After attending a rehearsal of this work we make the following observations and recommendations:1. We note that the twelve first violins were playing identical notes, as were the second violins. Three violins in each section, suitably amplified, would seem to us to be adequate. 2. Much unnecessary labour is involved in the number of demisemiquavers in this work; we suggest that many of these could be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver thus saving practice time for the individual player and rehearsal time for the entire ensemble. The simplification would also permit more use of trainee and less-skilled players with only marginal loss of precision. 3. We could find no productivity value in string passages being repeated by the horns; all tutti repeats could also be eliminated without any reduction of efficiency. 4. In so labour-intensive an undertaking as a symphony, we regard the long oboe tacet passages to be extremely wasteful. What notes this instrument is called upon to play could, subject to a satisfactory demarcation conference with the Musician's Union, be shared out equitably amongst the other instruments. Conclusion: if the above recommendations are implemented the piece under condsideration could be played through in less than half an hour with concomitant savings in overtime, lighting and heating, wear and tear on the instruments and hall rental fees. Also, had the composer been aware of modern cost-effective procedures he might well have finished this work.


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Political Joke

Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play 'Cowboys and Indians. ' Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians win.



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