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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student say etc etc

 

Fishing Joke

How do you get around fast on the bottom of the sea? Skates!


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Baby Joke

Doctor, doctor, my baby's swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.


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Political Joke

Since I couldnt find a good drinking game for the upcoming Presidential debates online, I decided to write one myself. There are three parts to this game. The first section applies to either candidate, and the next two are specific to John Kerry or George W. Bush. Part A Either Candidate Have a small drink or a gulp of beer if either candidate says. . a. Iran b. Iraq c. North Korea d. Afghanistan e. Sudan f. Libya g. Axis of Evil h. Gay Marriage i. United Nations j. Tax Cuts Have a larger drink, or shot of booze if either candidate says a. Saddam Hussein b. Osama Bin Ladden c. Al Qaeda d. September 11th or 9/11 or World Trade Center e. WMD / Weapons of Mass Destruction f. Homeland Security g. Nuclear Proliferation h. If either candidate doesnt answer the question given to them i. If either candidate goes over the time limit per question (flashing red light) Part B George W. Bush Have a small drink or a gulp of beer If George W. Bush says. . a. Uhhh. . b. If George Bush stutters c. Florida d. Mentions anything about the Alliance in Iraq e. Tony Blair f. Dick Cheney g. Terrorist or Terrorism Have a larger drink, or shot of booze if George W. Bush a. Miss-pronounces nuclear b. Mentions a John Kerry Flip Flop c. Mentions anything else about John Kerrys voting record d. Says War on Terra e. Says Evil-Doers f. Says anything connecting Saddam Hussein to the September 11th attacks g. Commits a Bushism meaning he says something that doesnt make any sense Chug a bottle of Bacardi 151 if George W. Bush a. Chokes on a pretzel Part C John Kerry Have a small drink or a gulp of beer If John Kerry says. . a. [Any Number] Billion Dollars b. Mentions anything about his wife Teresa Heinz Kerry c. Four More Years d. Anything about the economy e. No Child Left Behind f. Last Resort g. Mentions anything about how many troops have been killed in Iraq h. John Edwards Have a larger drink, or shot of booze if John Kerry a. Mentions Mission Accomplished b. Mentions anything about Vietnam c. Mentions anything about Purple Hearts d. Mentions anything about George W. Bushs service in the National Guard e. Mentions anything about Bush administration misjudgments f. Mentions anything about unemployment or loss of jobs under the Bush administration


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Book title Joke

Shipwrecked ! by Mandy Lifeboats


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Business Joke

A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. 'If I were to give you $'20


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Kids Puns

What's the difference between greeting royalty and greeting President Clinton? You only go down on one knee to greet royalty!


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Music Joke

Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek? A: Because no one will look for them.


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Mental health Joke

Did you hear about the auto mechanic who went to a psychiatrist and insisted on laying under the couch?


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Dumb Blonde Joke

Why don't Blondes make good cattle herders. Because they can never keep two calves together.


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Father Joke

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: 'The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined



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