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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student rail card etc etc

 

Dumb Blonde Joke

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

'I can't take this, you're my friend. '
But the blonde insisted saying,
'No. A bet's a bet. '

Then the redhead said

'Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money. '

The blonde replied

'Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!'



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Bumper Stickers - 6

My wife said if I watch one more Yankees game she is leaving. God I'll miss her.


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Teeth Joke

Why are vampires like false teeth? They all come out at night.


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Judge Joke

A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. ' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, 'Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him. ' At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, 'If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!'


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Pig Joke

The kids are crazy about a new piglet toy. When they wind it up, it eats all the spinach off their plates.


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Men Joke

Q. Why is the book 'Women Who Love Too Much' a disappointment for many men?A. No phone numbers.


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Dead and dying Joke

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, 'Well, then, let it read 'Fred Brown died'. ' Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that there is a 7-word minimum for all obituaries. The woman pauses again, counts on her fingers and replies, 'In that case, 'Fred Brown died: 1983 Pick-up for sale'. '


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Weirdest Joke

Why do men resist becoming fathers?Because they aren't through yet being children.


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Joke for Speeches

Knock Knock Who's there? Alva! Alva who? Alva heart! Knock Knock Who's there? Alvin! Alvin who! Alvin a great time, how about you? Knock Knock Who's there? Allan! Allan who! Allan-d of Manhattan! Knock Knock Who's there? Allegra! Allegra who? Allegra is broken! Knock Knock Who's there? Alma! Alma who? Alma-ny Knock Knock


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Burger Joke

Where can a burger get a great night's sleep? On a bed of lettuce!



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