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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student party etc etc

 

Ethnical Joke

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below. The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means 'bite the wax tadpole' or 'female horse stuffed with wax' depending on the dialect. Coke then researched '40


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Vampire Joke

Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better? No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.


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Bumper Stickers - 5

Life. Its just a cereal


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School Joke

A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke.

His Mother said, 'Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?'

'Uhh, oh yeah, O. K. ' responded the kid.

So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, 'Well how much did you give the boy this time?'

'Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000. '

'That's $1020!!!' yelled Dad, 'Are you going crazy???'

'Don't worry hon,' Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his head, 'I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!'




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Animal World

There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guywith a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinschersays to the guy with a Chihuahua, 'Let's go over tothat restaurant and get something to eat. ' The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us. ' The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'Just follow my lead. ' They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the DobermanPinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walkin. A guy at the door says, 'Sorry, mac, no pets allowed. ' The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog. ' The guy at the door says, 'A Doberman Pinscher?' He says, 'Yes, they're using them now, they're very good. ' The guy at the door says, 'Come on in. ' The guy with the Chihuahua figures, 'What the hell, ' so he putson a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says, 'Sorry, pal, no pets allowed. ' The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'You don't understand. This ismy seeing-eye dog. ' The guy at the door says, 'A Chihuahua?' The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?'


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Dirty Joke

What are the two greatest lies? 'The check is in the mail, ' and 'I promise I won't cum in your mouth. '


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Knock Knock Joke - 3

Knock Knock Who's there ! Cosi ! Cosi who ? Cosi has to !


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Bumper Stickers - 4

I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.


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Computer Joke

July 18: I just tried to connect to America online, which I've heard is the best online service I can get. I can't connect, I don't know what is wrong. July 19: Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am? July 20: I bought the modem, I couldn't figure out where it goes though, it wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused. July 21: I finally got the modem in and hooked up. A three year old next door did it for me. July 22: The three year old kid next door hooked me up to America online for me. He's so smart. July 23: What the heck is the internet? I thought I was on America Online, not this internet thingy. I'm confused. July 24: The three year old kid next door showed me how to use this America Online stuff. He must be a genius at least compared to me. July 25: I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing happened. Maybe I need to buy a microphone. July 26: I found this thingy called Usenet. I got out of it because I'm connected to America Online, not Usenet. I went to the doctor today for my regular checkup. He says that since I connected, My brain has mysteriously shrunk to half its normal size. July 27: These people in this Usenet thingy keep using capital letters. How do they do that? i never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard. July 28: I found this thingy called the Usenet oracle. It says that it can answer any questions I ask it. I asked it 44 separate questions about the internet. I hope it responds soon. July 29: I found a group called rec. humor. I decided to post this joke about why the chicken crossed the road. To get to the other side! ha ha! I wasn't sure if i posted it right so I posted it 56 more times. July 30: I keep hearing about the World Wide Web. I didn't know spiders grew that large. July 31: The oracle responded to my questions today. Geez, it was rude. I was so angry that I posted an angry message about it to rec. humor. oracle. d. I wasn't sure if it posted right so I posted it 22 more times. August 1: Someone told me to read the FAQ. Geez, they didn't have to use profanity. August 2: I just read this post called make money fast. I'm so exited, I'm going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to every newsgroup i could find. August 3: I just made my signature file. It's only 6 pages long, So I will have to work on it some more. August 4: I just looked at a group called alt. aol. sucks. I read a few posts and I really believe that aol should be wiped off the face of the Earth. I wonder what an 'aol' is, however. August 5: I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy told me to check out ftp. netcom. com. I've looked and looked, but I cant find that group. August 6: Some guy suspended my account because of what i was doing. I told him I don't have an account at his bank. He's so dumb.


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Dumb Joke

Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies) 'Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled. . . isn't she adorable?' Friend: 'But your kid didn't smile. ' Father: 'I was talking about the nurse. '



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