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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student loans etc etc

 

Dirty Joke

Q: What is 68 to a blonde? A: Where she goes down on you and you owe her one.


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Animal World

One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse's confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Sheppard. The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery. He rushed home and woke up his wife but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket. 'Don't be afraid, darling, ' said the man. 'Wait until I tell you about this. ' 'Get out of here!' cried his wife. 'And take that sex maniac with you!'


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Love and Marriage Joke

Jill tells her husband, 'Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?''Gosh, ' Jack says, 'why I hardly know the girl. '


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Political Joke

When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a 'Bud. '


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Bar Joke - 1

The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, 'What do you have in there, pal?'

'A mongoose. '

'What for?'

'Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection. '

'But,' the friend said, 'you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes. '

'That's okay,' said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, 'So is the mongoose. '


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Cop Joke

Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said 'It's Al Gore. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations. ''Donations!' I said, 'How much you got so far?'He said 'about ten gallons. '


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Marriage Joke

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Pack up your things! I just won the lottery!'
His wife replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?'
The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!'


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Christmas Joke - 1

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Sweating his fat awayHere comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Water-skis on his sleighNever have a white ChristmasWhen you in Melbourne liveWearing hot pants on the beachWhen you your presents giveHere comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Sweating his fat awayHere comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Water-skis on his sleighChestnuts roasting on the sidewalkCastles in the sandEating ice-cream, having good talksWarm Christmas, isn't that grand?


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Horse Joke

What goes into the mouth of a quarter horse? Two bits!


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Travel Joke

A Lady was on a business trip. Since she was so tense from all the meetings, she decided she would go to the roof of the hotel she was staying in and sunbathe to help her relax. She went to the top of the hotel, stripped down, and layed face down on the roof. After about an hour of sunbathing, she heard someone come on the roof. It was the manager of the hotel. He said, ' Excuse me, miss, but do you mind sunbathing somewhere else? ' 'Why?', asked the lady. ' I'm on top of the hotel. . . nobody can see me!' ' True', the man replied, ' But you are lying on the sunroof above the dining room. '



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