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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student grants etc etc

 

Cat Joke

Q: What do you call a cat who eats lemons? - A: A sourpuss!


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Irish Joke

'Hey, ' said a new arrival in the pub, 'I've got some great Irish jokes. ''Before you start, ' said the big bloke in the corner, ', I'm Irish. ''Don't worry, ' said the newcomer, 'I'll tell them slowly. '


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Joke for Kids

I recently attended a meeting of the International Singles Club here in Silicon Valley. I met a Chinese woman who was a dentist. She had perfect teeth, which started me thinking: All dentists from all cultures apparently have perfect teeth. So, I am looking for a gynecologist for my next girlfriend!


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Bumper Stickers - 7

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?


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Cannibal Joke

Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other 'I don't like your friend. ' The other one said, 'Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables. '


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Men Joke

Men are like power tools. They make a lot of noise, but it's hard to get them to work.


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Assorted Joke

What do you call a pregnant Black woman? A dope carrier!


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Computing Joke

'Baby's First Ornament' would have a hand-crank that you turn to hang the thing on the tree.


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Men Joke

On the beach, how can you recognize a guy who uses aninflatable sex doll?Instead of staring at the bikinis, he's staring at the beach balls.


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Computing Joke

You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is. If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes:mstv. dinn. //08. 5min@@50%heat//Then enter:ms//start. cook_dindin/yummy/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme. If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner. If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of the dinner (found on the package label), the weight of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the dinner exactly to your specification. Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter:ms. no. good/tryagainagain/again. crap. This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor. Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your equipment. Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call MicrosoftHelp and they will explain that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need. Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family size. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only in Microsoft approved packaging. Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98. However, that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get thrilled in advance. Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.



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