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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student funny etc etc

 

Dog Joke - 2

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself.


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Simple Joke

The five most constipated people in the Bible:1. Cain-who wasn't able. 2. King Solomon-who sat on the throne for forty years. 3. King David-who neither Heaven nor Earth could move. 4. Moses-who took two tablets and went up into the mountains. 5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark and passed nothing but water.


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Friendship Joke

Two friends meet each other on the street. 'Hello! Where are you coming from?' asked Bill. 'Oh, don't ask me! I'm coming from the cemetery. I just burried my mother-in-law' replied Sid. 'I'm so sorry!' said Bill, 'But why is your face schratched all over?'. 'It wasn't so easy!' said Sid, 'She put on a hell of a fight!'


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Bumper Stickers - 1

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.


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Romance Joke

What is the difference between men and women?A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.


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Pig Joke

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny? Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.


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Animal World

What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?The wrong answer.


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Farmer Joke

How does a farmer send messages? By e-i-e-i-o-mail.


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Hair and bald Joke

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, 'Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?' 'We're taking TWA, ' was the reply. 'We got a great rate!' 'TWA?' exclaimed the barber. 'That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?' 'We'll be at the downtown International Marriott. ' 'That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?' 'We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope. ' 'That's rich, ' laughed the barber. 'You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it. ' A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome. 'It was wonderful, ' explained the man, 'not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel-it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!' 'Well, ' muttered the barber, 'I know you didn't get to see the pope. ' 'Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally me et some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me. ' 'Really?' asked the Barber. 'What'd he say?' He said, 'Where'd you get the lousy haircut?


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Idiot and fool Joke

Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel? Halfway across he decided he couldn't make it so he swam back.



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