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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student funny t shirts etc etc

 

Ethnic Joke - 1

Do you know why the baby Jesus wasn't born in Iowa? They couldn't find three wise men!!!


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Math Joke

George W. Bush visits Algeria. As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: 'You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra. . . '



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Bar Joke - 1

A neutron walks into a bar. 'I'd like a beer' he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. 'How much will that be?' asks the neutron. 'For you?' replies the bartender, 'no charge'


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Joke for Speeches

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, 'OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. . . You only get one wish!'The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, 'I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?'The genie laughed and said, 'That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete -- how much steel!! No, think of another wish. 'The man said 'OK, I will try to think of a really good wish'. Finally, he said, 'I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing, ' know how to make them truly happy. 'The genie said, 'Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?'


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Pig Joke

Q. What's a pig's favorite ballet?
A. Swine Lake.



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Spelling Joke

Can you spell jealousy with two letters? NV (envy).


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Judge Joke

Who is the most powerful ghoul? Judge Dread.


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Music Joke

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom? Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.


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Clean Humor

Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes. . . Dear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?Maria<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>Dear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Maria


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School Joke

Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it ? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me ?



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