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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student contents insurance etc etc

 

Humorous Joke

5-year-old Nicholas was sitting on a department store Santa's lap and told him, 'My name's the same as yours. 'Santa's helper blows his cover when he says, 'Well, hello, Harold!'


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Car and train Joke

What song does a car radio play? A cartoon (car, tune).


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Dog Joke - 2

What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua? A short one!


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At Work Joke

Have you all stopped to think where you fit in this equation? From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here?s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%And, B-U-L-L-S-H-*-T21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%AND, look how far ass kissing will take you:A-S-S??K-I-S-S-I-N-G1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = a whopping 118%!!!!So one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that:While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close and Attitude willget you there, Bullsh*t and Ass Kissing will put you over the top!


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Law Enforcement Joke

The police are looking for a thief with one eye Why don't they use two?


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Short Joke

An old man went into confession and told the priest: 'Father, I'm 81 married with six children and 13 grandchildren. Last night i had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. Twice. ' 'I see, ' said the priest. 'When was the last time you were in confession?' 'Never, Father', replied the old man. 'I'm Jewish' 'So why are you telling me?' 'I'm telling everybody!'


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Knock Knock Joke - 1

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Gail.
Gail who?
Gail of laughter!


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Real Life Joke

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Monday, December '7


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School Joke for Kids

After much soul searching and having determined the husband was infertile, the childless couple decided to try artificial insemination. When the woman showed up at the clinic, she was told to undress from the waist down, get on the table and place her feet in the stirrups. She was feeling rather awkward about the entire procedure when the doctor came in. Her anxiety was not diminished by the sight of him pulling down his pants!'Wait a minute! What the hell is going on here?' yelped the woman, pulling herself into a sitting position. 'Don't you want to get pregnant?' asked the doctor. 'Well, yes, I do, ' answered the woman. 'Then lie back and spread 'em, ' replied the doctor. 'We're all out of the bottled stuff. . . You'll just have to settle for what's on tap!'


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Animal World

What has two grey legs and two brown legs?An elephant with diarrhea. What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?Lots of room!



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