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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student college etc etc

 

Heaven and hell Joke

Morty the producer dies and goes to purgatory. The agent behind the counter says 'So Morty, what's it gonna be Heaven or Hell?' Morty asks, 'What's the difference?' Sid says 'Take a look at the monitor over here. ' Morty goes to the monitor and sees scenes of heaven where people are quietly floating on clouds and playing harps in serene bliss. Morty turns to Sid and says 'Well That's nice. Pretty boring but nice. What's Hell like?' Sid tells him to look at the other monitor. Morty does and sees scenes of young people having sex and dancing and smoking and drinking and laughing and singing and generally having a great time. 'This is great!' says Morty. 'I think I'll try Hell. ' Sid directs him to the elevator and instructs him to push the down arrow. Morty does so and waits for the elevator to take him to hell. When the car stops at hell the doors spring open. Morty look s around from the elevator doorway and is shocked at what he sees. Everywhere are people burning in agony, screaming in pain, drowning and suffering. There are laughing demons with pitchforks piercing their skin. Its horrible, disgusting. Morty presses the up button and goes right back to Sid. ' 'What is this!? Hell is nothing like you showed me on the monitor! It was awful down there!' Sid says, 'You mean that monitor?' 'Yes, ' says Morty. 'Oh, well, that was just the pilot. '


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Elderly People Joke

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines. 'Don't know, ' the woman said. He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U- turn and drove up to them. 'This is my husband, ' the old woman said. 'He doesn't know how to get to Des Moines either. '


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Old Age Joke

Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, 'How do you really feel? I mean, you're 75 years old, how do you honestly feel?'

'Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just peed myself. '


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Cow Joke

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!


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Blonde Joke - 3

Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid? They can't get eight cups of water into that little packet.


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Pig Joke

Did you hear the story about the razorback hog? It's pretty dull.


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Animal World

A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog. He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & aroundhis head. The druggist says 'May I help you?' The blind man replies 'No thank you, I'm just lookingaround. '


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Knock Knock Joke - 2

Knock Knock Who's there ! Buggy ! Buggy who ? Buggy Jean is not my lover !


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Silliest Joke

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, 'You are going tomeet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything aboutyou. 'The frog says, 'This is great! Will I meet her at a party, orwhat?''No, ' says the psychic. 'Next semester in her biology class. '


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Funny Kids Joke

What happened to the man who turned into an insect?He just beetled off!



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