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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student accounts etc etc

 

Women Joke

One woman to another at a singles bar: 'I'm not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'


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Love and Marriage Joke

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. 'But you just had two weeks off, ' said the boss. 'Why didn't you get married then ?' 'What and ruin my vacation ?' she whined.


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Bumper Stickers - 2

Change a life; make someone feel important.


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Silliest Joke

A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk. 'Kiss me and I will turn into a princess. ' The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket. The frog starts shouting, 'Hey! Didn't you hear me? I'm a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours. ' The guy takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it back. The frog is really frustrated. 'I don't get it. Why won't you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you ask. 'The guy says, 'Look, I'm a computer geek. I don't have time for girls. But a talking frog is cool!'


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Farmer Joke

What did the farmer say when all his cows charged him at once ? I'm on the horns of a dilemma here !


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Banana Joke

What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.


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Waiter Joke

Sir you haven't touched your custard. I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline !


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Just for Laughs Joke

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can move aside to let him go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and hurls all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. 'So, ' says the little guy, 'are you feeling any better now?'


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Car and train Joke

What happens when a frog's car breaks down? It gets toad away. .


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Free Adult Joke

The two put together have an IQ over 150. The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead. There she sits, Finite State Automaton at its best. There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet. -- Woody Allen They must have done a clean boot on him. Thick as a brick / whale omelette. Thick as pig dung and twice as smelly. Thinks 'Private Enterprise' means owning a personal starship. Thinks a permutation is a medical procedure. Thinks at 5 baud. Thinks cellular phones are carbon-based life forms. Thinks E=MC^2 is a rap star. Thinks everyone else is entitled to his opinion, like it or not. thinks in lower case and types accordingly Thinks like a boar hog looks at a wristwatch. Thinks male zebras are the ones with the black stripes. Three chickens short of a henhouse. Three miracles shy of being where he thinks he's at. Three-bag/coyote ugly. (Ask your mommy to explain. ) Throws his rod and reel off the bridge when casting. Too dumb to be bothered when publically displaying her ignorance. Too many birds on her antenna. Too many jokers and not enough aces in his deck. Too many stop bits in his transmissions. Too much yardage between the goal posts. Too pointless to even be called a pinhead. Took the little bus to school. Top paddock is full of rocks. Toys in the attic. Train of thought derailed / still boarding at the station.



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