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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student accommodation liverpool etc etc

 

Doctor Joke

Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor. Doctor: You should diet. Trish: Really? What color?


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Internet Joke

Do you want some help using the Internet, son? No thanks, Dad, I can muck it up all by myself.


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Police Joke

One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The
instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began.

Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, 'Why are you late?'

The student replied, 'I was trying not to get another ticket. '

The officer let him in.


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Just for Laughs Joke

Knock Knock!Who's there?Banana!Banana who?Knock Knock!Who's there?Banana!Banana who?Knock Knock!Who's there?Banana!Banana who?Knock Knock!Who's there?Orange!Orange who?Orange you glad I didn't say Banana!


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Worst Joke

Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said 'I'm sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren't ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be. ' 'Great!' said the first guy, 'I want to be an eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!' 'No problem, ' replied St. Peter, and POOF! The guy was gone. 'And what do you want to be, ' St. Peter asked the other guy. 'I'd like to be one cool stud!' was the reply. 'Easy, ' replied St. Peter, and the other guy was gone. After a few months, their mansions were finished, and St. Peter sent an angel to fetch them back. 'You'll find them easily, ' he says, 'One of them is soaring above the Grand Canyon, and the other one is on a snow tire somewhere in Detroit!'


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Spiked Humor

In the front yard of a funeral home, 'Drive carefully, we'll wait. 'On an electrician's truck, 'Let us remove your shorts. 'Outside a radiator repair shop, 'Best place in town to take a leak. 'In a non-smoking area, 'If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. 'On a maternity room door, 'Push, Push, Push. 'On a front door, 'Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog. 'At an optometrist's office, 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. 'On a taxidermist's window, 'We really know our stuff. 'On a butcher's window, 'Let me meat your needs. 'On a butcher's window, 'You can beat our prices, but you can't beat our meat. 'On a fence, 'Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive. 'At a car dealership, 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment. 'Outside a muffler shop, 'No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming. 'In a dry cleaner's emporium, 'Drop your pants here. 'On a desk in a reception room, 'We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left. 'In a veterinarian's waiting room, 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'At the electric company, 'We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be. 'In a Beauty Shop, 'Dye now!'In a Beauty Shop, 'We curl up and Dye for you. 'On the side of a garbage truck, 'We've got what it takes to take what you've got. ' (Burglars please copy. )In a restaurant window, 'Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up. 'Inside a bowling alley, 'Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop. 'In a cafeteria, 'Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.


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King Kong Joke

If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and died. What would they put on his coffin ? A lid !


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Father Joke

One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. 'Why are you dressed like that?' I asked her.

'I told my son,' she explained, 'that


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Cop Joke

At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : 'In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police. 'Russian : 'In Russia we don't require that you dial anything. '


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Cow Joke

What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class!



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