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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: student accommodation bristol etc etc


Joke for Holidays

A man asked his wife, 'What would you most like for your birthday?'She said, 'I'd love to be ten again. 'On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a movie theater, more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, 'Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?'One eye opened and she groaned, 'Actually I meant dress size. '

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Travel and tourist Joke

There was a man staying the night in a hotel. He called the front desk and said, 'Excuse me, sir, I've got a leak in my sink. ' The man at the front desk replied, 'Oh, okay, go ahead, but most guests just use the toilet. '

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Practical Joke

1. . . Constipated People Don't Give A Crap. 2. . . If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut. 3. . . My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant. 4. . . To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing. 5. . . Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying 'No Hard Feelings'. 6. . . I Have The Body Of A God. . . Buddha7. . . Illiterate? Write For Help8. . . If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong9. . . Cat: The Other White Meat10. . . Heart Attacks. . . God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

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Weird Women Joke

'Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?' asked John'Yes, I will. ' Paula replied. 'Would you do it for one thousand?' he asked. 'Well maybe, or maybe I'd do something else for you. 'she answered with a wink. 'How about a blowjob for $20?' responded John. 'Hey! What kind of women do you think I am?' Paula snapped, indignantly. 'That's already been established, Paula. Now we're just haggling over the price!'

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Bumper Stickers - 6

Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.

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Frog Joke

What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ? Lily !

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Joke Online

Dear Mom and Dad:Since I left for college I have been remiss in writing and I am sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down. Okay?Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival here is pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get those sick headaches once a day. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me in the hospital, and since I have nowhere to live because of the burned-out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning on getting married. We haven't got the date exactly yet, but it will before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know that you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. I know that you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind, and, although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your often-expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by that. Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I am not infected and there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I am getting a D in Calculus and F in Chemistry and I want you to see those marks in their proper perspective. Your loving daughter, Susie

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American Joke

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. One day he Decided that he would love to plant potatoes and herbs in his garden, but he knew he was alone and too old and weak. His son was in college in Paris, so the old man sent him an e-mail explaining the problem:
'Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, that you would help me and dig up the garden for me. I love you, your father. '
The following day, the old man received a response e-mail from his son:
'Beloved father, please don't touch the garden. That is where I have hidden 'the THING. ' I love you, too, Ahmed. '
At 4pm the FBI and the Rangers visited the house of the old man and took the whole garden apart, searching every inch. But they couldn't find anything. Disappointed, they left the house.
The next day, the old man received another e-mail from his son:
'Beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That is all I could do for you from here. Your loving son, Ahmed. '

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Yo momma Joke

Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

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Ethnic Humor

Canada, in view of recent events, will be changing the maple leaf on the flag to a marijuana plant. That way, the people of Quebec will have good reason to burn the flag.

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