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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: sick humor etc etc

 

Dumb Blonde Joke

Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!Judi: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.


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Kids Fairy Tale Joke

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8. 95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.


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Funny Joke - 50 best Joke

I was married 3 times explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, 'and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd wife died of a fractured skull. ' 'That's a shame. ' said his friend , 'How did it happen?' 'She wouldn't eat the mushrooms!'


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Ethnic Joke - 2

Q: What happened to the Polish National Library? A: Someone stole the book.


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Mad Joke

This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed. So he goes to his doctor and says, 'I've just got to marry this woman, I love her so much. . . 'So the doctor says, 'Well, it's risky, but okay. ' So into the operating room they go for the brain removal procedure. Later, when the German guy wakes up, the doctor comes in and says, 'We are verrrryyyy sorry, but we accidentally removed 75% of your brain instead of 50%. 'The guy looks up and says, 'Mama Mia!'


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Journalist Joke

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks: 'You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that and what are you praying for?' The old man replies, 'I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth. ' The journalist is amazed. 'How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?' she asks. The old man looks at her sadly. 'Like I'm talking to a wall. '


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Rabbit Joke

Which rabbit was a famous female aviator? Amelia Harehart.


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Monster Joke

Dr Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It's a new pill consisting of 50 per cent glue and 50 per cent aspirin. Igor: But what's it for? Dr Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.


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Women Joke

Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!


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Weather Joke

First cave man to 2nd cave man: 'I don't care what you say. We never had such unusual weather before they started using bows and arrows. '



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