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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: sense of humor etc etc

 

Business Joke

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. 'Oh, about $200 today, ' said the rancher. 'But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out. ' The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. 'Here, ' he said, 'is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now


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Silliest Joke

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. 'Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $'500


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Kids Puns

Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?A: Three. One to eat it and two to watch for cars.


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Knock Knock Joke - 3

Knock Knock Who's there ! Chair ! Chair who? Chair you go again, asking more questions !


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Joke of the Day

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion forbaked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had avery embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparentthat they would marry she thought to herself, 'He is such a sweetand gentle man, but he would never go for this carrying on. 'So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some monthslater her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she livedin the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a smalldiner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walkoff any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she hadconsumed three large orders of baked beans. She putt-putted all theway home, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she couldcontrol any lingering effects. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, 'Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight. 'He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. Sheseated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold fromhis wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch theblindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and thepressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband wasout of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight toone leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like arotten egg gone worse. When her husband returned, he instructed her to remove herblindfold. And when she did, 50 people around her said 'Surprise!'


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Music Joke

Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder? A: You can't!


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Idiot and fool Joke

How do Alaska CB radio operators say '10-4'? '5-5-2-2. '


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Instrument Joke

The late Sir Thomas Beecham used to say the sound of the harpsichord is like 'two skeletons making love on a tin roof'.


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Zodiac Joke

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.


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Yo Mama Joke

Yo' mama is so stupid she tried to make apple juice out of grapes!



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