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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: practical jokes etc etc

 

Free Adult Joke

10. 'Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!'9. 'Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?'8. 'Put that thing away before you get us all killed. '7. 'You've got something jammed in here real good. '6. 'Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?'5. 'You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought. '4. 'Sorry about the mess. . . '3. 'Look at the size of that thing!'2. 'Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!'1. 'She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. '


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King Kong Joke

What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft? A flat miner.


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Snake Joke

Why are snakes hard to fool ? They have no legs to pull !


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Real Life Joke

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. January '12


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Computers Joke

Computer Ease! The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000: 1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 4. Press any key except . . . no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test. 6. Close your eyes and press escape three times. 7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? 9. Windows message: 'Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)' 10. This is a message from God Gates: 'Rebooting the world. Please log off. ' 11. To 'shut down' your system, type 'WIN. ' 12. BREAKFAST. SYS halted. . . Cereal port not responding. 13. COFFEE. SYS missing. . . Insert cup in cup holder and press any key. 14. CONGRESS. SYS corrupted. . . Reboot Washington D. C? (Y/N) 15. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 16. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N) 17. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. 18. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) 19. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER. SYS) 20. User Error: Replace user. 21. Windows VirusScan 1. 0 - 'Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)' 22. Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due. . . 23. If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have security? 24. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.


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Top 100 Joke

Q. ) What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office? A. ) They're hiring. Q. ) What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? A. ) 'Dam. 'Q. ) How do crazy people go through the forest? A. ) They take the psycho path. Q. ) What do Eskimos get from sitting on the toilet too long? A. ) Polaroids. Q. ) What do the letters D. N. A. stand for? A. ) National Dyslexia Association. Q. ) What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A. ) Nacho Cheese. Q. ) What do you call Santa's helpers? A. ) Subordinate Clauses. Q. ) What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? A. ) Quattro sinko. Q. ) What do you get from a pampered cow? A. ) Spoiled milk. Q. ) What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A. ) Frostbite. Q. ) What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A. ) A nervous wreck. Q. ) What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A. ) Anyone can roast beef. Q. ) Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A. ) They all have phones. Q. ) What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? A. ) Sanka. Q. ) Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A. ) Because they have big fingers. Q. ) What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie? A. ) A dog that runs for help . . . after it bites your leg off. Q. ) What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A. ) A stick.


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Love and Marriage Joke

young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, 'Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?' Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, 'Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?' The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, 'Darling, I've a c onfession to make. ' And she says, 'So have I, love. ' To which he replies, 'Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks. '


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Funny College Joke

Yo mama's so poor she wears her McDonald's uniform to churchYo mama's so poor, I walked into her house and swatted a fly, she yelled 'Hey where'd grandma go?!?!?!'Yo mama's so poor when I went to her house and asked to use the bathroom, she said 'Two trees to your left'Yo mama's so poor when she heard about the last supper, she thought she ran out of food stamps.


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Joke Online

Ed and Fred were flying along when the two idiots crash-landed on a desert island. 'What should we do?', said Ed. 'Hmmm, let's think. ', replied Fred. Ed shook his head, 'No, let's do something you can do too!'


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Face Joke

Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. 'if I ever stop hating girls, ' said one to the other, 'I think I'll stop hating her first. '



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