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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: humorous etc etc


Law and Lawyer Joke

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, 'I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?'St. Peter replied, 'Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!'

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Men Joke

Men are like curling irons. They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

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Redneck Joke

Your momma so stupid that when she goes on wheel of fortune she buysa seven!

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Real Life Joke

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A bird dropped a snake over a California power station, short-circuiting a line and causing a two-hour blackout. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------A Creighton University (Nebraska) Law School senior, told she wouldn't graduate because of a failing grade on a final exam, sued her professor, claiming he flunked her because she is 'politically incorrect. '--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Biloxi, Mississippi, jurors acquitted a woman of drug charges, then passed the hat to collect $55 to pay her bus fare home to Texas. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------A man allegedly held up 18 New York businesses after casing the places while filling out job or rental applications. The spree ended after he accidentally signed his real name on one of the forms, police said. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Harlan County, Nebraska, Assessor Floyd Schippert was unopposed in the Democratic primary, and just to be sure, he entered -- and won -- the Republican primary also. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Willie Turner wasn't running for the Dendron, Virginia, Town Council. He didn't even vote. But he won with five write-in votes. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------A Hollywood, California man is accused of renting cars, selling them, then stealing them back for return to the rental companies. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Corpus Christi, Texas, police said it was a hit-and-gallop accident: A man crashed his truck into the back of a car, then fled on the horse he was pulling in the trailer.

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Christmas Joke - 1

Father Christmas:I like the story about the girl who steals from the rich and gives it all to Granny. Elf: That's Little Red Robin Hood'!

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Elephant Joke

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.

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Joke for Kids

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman. If you don't, you are not a man. If you praise her, she thinks you are lying. If you don't, you are good for nothing. If you agree to all her likes, she is abused. If you don't, you are not understanding. If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'. If you don't, you are half a man. If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring. If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing. If you are well-dressed, she says you are a playboy. If you aren't, you are a dull boy. If you are jealous, she says it's bad. If you aren't, she thinks you do not love her. If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her. If you don't, she thinks you do not like her. If you are a minute late, she complains it is hard to wait. If she is late, she says that's a girl's way. If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel. If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls'. If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold. If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage. If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics. If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics. If you stare at others, she accuses you of flirting. If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring. If you talk, she wants you to listen. If you listen, she wants you to talk.

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Doctor and nurse Joke

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog Your just playing too much croquet!

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Joke for Kids

More cool than funny, but. . . racecar <===> racecar drawer <===> reward repaid <===> diaper straw <===> warts evian <===> naive [there's a message here, I think!] smug <===> gums star <===> rats step <===> pets step on <===> no pets

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Yo Mama Joke

Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down. Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach. Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left. Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. Yo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh. Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.

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