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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: humor joke etc etc

 

Car and train Joke

What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train ? A laplander !


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Clinton Joke

Q: When will there be a woman in the White House? A: When Hillary leaves town.


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Cat Joke

What noise does a cat make going down the highway ? Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow !


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Idiot and fool Joke

Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. 'I have an idea, ' said Mike. 'We'll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder. ' 'What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light. ' 'What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there. '


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Joke Online

One man may not back into a parking spot becasue it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate. Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March. All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads. Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans. Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide. State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post. Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest. A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17. It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday. Drinks on the house are illegal. It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks. A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits a Class B misdemeanor. (Ind. Code 15-2. 1-21-13(b) Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session. Liquor stores may not sell milk. Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes. Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor. You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her. Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights. No one may catch a fish with his bare hands. Men are prohibited from standing in a bar. You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table. The waiter or waitress has to do it. 'Spiteful Gossip' and 'talking behind a person's back' are illegal. You are required to pour your drink into a glass. It is against the law to pass a horse on the street. If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Immoral Practices. Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day. A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming. The value of Pi is '4


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Ethnic Joke - 2

When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. 'And the Americans, they are so friendly!' he concluded. 'Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang, . . . . 'Jose, can you see?''


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Camping Joke

Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, 'That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting. '


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Government Humor

Q: Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine?A: They both have, 'incert Bill'!Sent by Gabriel


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Bumper Stickers - 7

visualize whirled peas


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Elephant Joke

How does an elephant get out of a small car ? The same way that he got in !



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