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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: gateway college etc etc

 

Time Joke

How can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb? You can hear their brooms tick!


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Sports Joke

A husband was engrossed in a magazine while his wife was reading the newspaper. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. 'Get this,' she said. 'Some guy put an ad in here offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. ' 'Hmmmmm,' her husband mumbled, still engrossed in his magazine. Wanting to test him, she asked, 'Would you swap me for a season ticket?' 'Absolutely not!' he said. 'That's so sweet,' she replied. 'Tell me why not. ' 'Heck, the season's more than half over!' he said.


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Christmas Joke - 2

What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ? Best vicious of the season


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Strange Humor

A group of blondes walks into a bar, all excited and giggling. They order a round of drinks. One of the blondes raises her glass and shouts excitedly, '51!!' '51!!' The other blondes echo. After they have finished their drinks, another round is ordered. Again, the blondes toast '51'. This happens a few times. Finally, the bartender speaks up. 'Excuse me, ' He says, 'But why do you ladies keep doing that?' 'Well, ' Says one of the blondes, very bubbly, 'We got a puzzle, right? And it said 2-4 years on the box. We finished it in 51 days!!!!!'


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Kids Puns

Top ten indicators that a redneck has been working on your computer 10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is 'Huntin'. 4. The CPU has a gun rack mount. 3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. 1. The mouse is referred to as a 'critter'.


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Doctor and nurse Joke

Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!


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Barbie doll Joke

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Hiroshima Barbie . . . just a shadow of her former self


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Humor Joke

So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. 'Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?' Gramma asked him. 'I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma' exclaimed Johnny. 'There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!' 'Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!' 'Well, Gramma, ' replied Johnny, 'if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!'


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Miscellaneous Joke

1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off. 2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will do. 3) All apartments in Paris overlook the Eiffel tower. 4) Most lap top computers are powerful enough to override a bank security system or the communication system of an invading alien civilization. 5) Every single person in martial arts Film has a black belt in karate. 6) When staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 7) 1 man shooting at 20 men has more chance of hitting them than 20 men shooting at 1 man if he is the hero. 8) During a police investigation it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once. 9) Large studio-type apartments in big cities are affordable by single people with a low wage. 10) The entire British population lives in London. 11) It doesn't matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight; your enemies will attack you one at a time while the others dance around you menacingly. 12) In musicals everyone you meet in the street will know all the words to the songs and the steps to the dances. 13) When captured by an evil international terrorist, guns are not necessary to defeat them, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.


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Insect Joke

What bee is good for your health ? Vitamin bee !



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