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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: funny stuff etc etc

 

Elephant Joke

Why do elephants do well in school ? Because they have a lot of grey matter !


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Money Joke

What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader? They gave him his money back.


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Cop Joke

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at 2 A. M. ?' said the officer. 'I'm going to a lecture. ' the man said. 'And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?' the cop asked. 'My wife. ' said the man.


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Relationships Joke

One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had movedinto the house next door. He was also quick to noticethat the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usuallyin a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair ofbreasts. He made it a point to water and trim his lawn as muchas possible, hoping for yet another look. Finally, he couldstand it no more. Walking to the front door of the new neighbor'shouse, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door. 'Excuse me', our man stammered, 'but I couldn't help noticing howbeautiful your wife is. ''Yeah? So?' his hulking neighbor replied. 'Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breastsare. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could kiss thosebreasts. 'The burly gorilla is about to deck our poor guy when his wife appearsand stops him. She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for afew moments. Finally, they return and ask our friend to step inside. 'OK, ' the husband says gruffly, 'for ten thousand dollars you can kissmy wife's tits. 'At this the wife unbuttons her blouse, and the twin objects of desirehang free at last. Our man takes one in each hand, and proceeds to rubhis face against them in total ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets annoyed. 'Well, come on already, kiss 'em!' hegrowls. 'I can't' replies our awe-struck hero, still nuzzling away. 'Why not?' demands the husband, getting really angry now. 'I don't have ten thousand dollars. '


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Politics Humor

One day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around hispenis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctorsays, 'I cant figure out what it is. So I'll give you some medicine, and if it doesn't work, come back. Ill give yousomething else. ' So clinton takes the perscription and takes the pills as directed and comes back in 2 weeks. The physician then hands him a different prescription and he comes back in3 weeks this time. Then, instead of giving him a prescriptionhe gives him a small tube-like capsule. The doctor says, 'Rub this around the offending circle and come back tomorrow. Clinton returns the next day and starts shouting, 'Wow! That stuff wasterriffic doc! What was thast concoction? It worked great!'The docter then calmly replied; Lipstick remover. Sent by Bradley


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Joke for Halloween

There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief says, 'Yeah'. When asked where the crew was the Chief replied, 'We ate the crew and drank the Pepsi. ' The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked, 'Did you eat their legs?' The chief replied, 'We ate their legs and we drank the Pepsi. ' Another rescuer asked, 'Did you eat their arms?' The Chief said, 'We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi'. After looking totally perplexed for a minute a third added, 'Did you. . . you know. . . eat their. . . . things'?? The chief says, 'No. ' 'No?' asked the rescuers. 'NO', replied the Chief, ' THINGS go better with COKE!!!'


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Relationships Joke

A couple married forty years were revisiting the same placesthey went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secludedcountryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence runningalong the road. The woman said, 'Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we didhere forty years ago. 'The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, andhe immediately jumped her bones like a bass on a junebug. Theymade love like never before. Back in the car, the guy says, 'Darlin


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Cow Joke

Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow!


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Ethnic Joke - 2

Q: What happened to the Irishman who tried to kill himself by?. swallowing 100 pain killers?A: After two he began to feel better.


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Space Joke

What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer.



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