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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: funny quotes education etc etc

 

Kids Puns

The newlywed couple asked the hotel desk clerk for a room and told him they just got married that morning. 'Congratulations!' said the clerk looking at the bride. 'Would you like the bridal then?''No thanks, ' said the woman. 'I'll just hold him by the ears until he gets the hang of it!'


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Bumper Stickers - 7

You just lived your best moment, now GO live another!


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Joke for Speeches

A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. 'Ohhh, it's my girlfriend. ' 'Oh yeah? What's the problem?''When I asked her if she could learn to love me, ' he said, 'she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education. '


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E-mail Joke

Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC? Because it was on old croc.


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Old age Joke

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, 'Where are you going?' He replies, 'To the kitchen. ' She asks, 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' He replies, 'Sure. ' She then asks him, 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' He says, 'No, I can remember that. ' She then says, 'Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that. ' He says, 'I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. ' She replies, 'Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down. ' With irritation in his voice, he says, 'I don't need to write that down, I can remember that. ' He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, 'You forgot my toast. '


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Clinton Joke

Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician? A: Chelsea.


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Bumper Stickers - 1

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.


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Religious Joke

The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church. 'Good morning, Jonathan, ' the preacher said as he reached out to shake Joanthan's hand. As he was doing do he felt something in the palm of Jonathan's hand. 'What's this?' the preacher asked. 'Money, ' said Jonathan with a big smile on his face, 'It's for you!' 'I don't want to take your money, Jonathan, ' the preacher answered. 'I want you to have it, ' said Jonathan. After a short pause Jonathan continued, 'My daddy says you're the poorest preacher we ever had and I want to help you. '


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Ethnic Joke - 1

How come nobody from Mexico is ever in the olympics?Because everybody that can Run, Jump, and Swim is already over here. Sent by Paul


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Movie and TV Joke

Q: How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What's a light bulb?



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