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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: funny pictures etc etc

 

Bumper Stickers - 5

Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying 'No Hard Feelings'.


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Dirty Joke

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'The other replies, 'Oh sure I do. ' The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?' The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver. ' After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'


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Funny Kids Joke

What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe?

A long necked toothbrush.


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Statistics and Math Joke

Theorem: log(-1) = 0Proof:a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)On the other hand:b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0Combining a) and b) gives:2* log(-1) = 0Divide both sides by 2:log(-1) = 0


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Law Joke

Q: You're stranded in a deserted island with Attila the Hun, Adolf Hitler, and a lawyer. You have a revolver with two bullets. What do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice!


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Heaven and hell Joke

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, 'What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it. ' The teacher answered quickly, 'That would be the Titanic. ' St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: 'How many people died on the ship?' Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. ''1


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Clinton Joke

Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend.


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Old People Joke

Recently seen on a card. . . Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us. . . Inside: . . . We had to stay up all night lighting them!


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Top 100 Joke

Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! 'Damn. ' A bad skydiver goes, 'Damn. ' WHACK!Q: What do you call skydiving lawyers? A: Skeet. Q: Why don't blind people like to sky dive? A: Because it scares the dog. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? A: They take the psycho path. Q: How do you get holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it. Q: What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? A: 'Dam!'Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? A: Polaroids. Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A: A stick. Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho Cheese. Q: What do you call Santa's helpers? A: Subordinate Clauses. Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? A: Quatro sinko. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite. Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A: A nervous wreck. Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Right where you left him. Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingersQ: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? A: Sanka. Q: Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down? A: Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat. Q: How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same? A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.


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Free Adult Joke

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid bastard!!!!!



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