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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: collegehumorcom etc etc

 

Dumb People Joke

These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. 'The effects are fleeting and lingering. . . ' - Overheard in a hallway 'In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted. ' - CBS reporter during the solar eclipse 'A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across. ' - Announcer on KZOK radio 'He threw 110 pitches in six innings, and that's a mouthful!' - CBS baseball announcer 'An agreement is not an agreement until the parties to the agreement have reached an agreement. ' - Irish Politician on RTE radio 'This is the biggest pawn that Israel holds in the whole hostage equation. ' - BBC world service. 'We have two incredibly credible witnesses here. ' - Sen. Biden at Thomas hearings from Bob Ericson (Marlboro, MA, USA) 'He's going to step down 'til he's back on his feet. ' - Vermont Public Radio commentator on Jimmy Swaggart's latest sex scandal


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Bumper Stickers - 5

If you can read this,you were hooked on phonics once. . .


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Clean Joke

1. You know you have if you. . . notice your tie sticking out of your fly. 2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster. 3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall. 4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier. 5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off. 6. You strike a match and light your nose. 7. You take off your shoes and wade in the macaroni salad. 8. You hear a duck quacking, and it's you. 9. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet. 10. You refill your glass from the fish bowl. 11. You tell everyone you have to go home. . . and the party's at your place. 12. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket. 13. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room. . . and realize you're in front of the hall mirror. 14. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch. 15. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear. 16. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant. 17. You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.


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Government Humor

Q. What do pub landlords say in Kosovo at chucking out time?A. 'Come on you lot, have you not got any homes to go to?'


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Ghost Joke

Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.


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Men Joke

How do you lose fourteen stone of fat? Dump him.


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Cat Joke

What do cats read in the morning ? Mewspapers !


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Bumper Stickers - 4

I don't approve of political jokes. . . I've seen too many of them get elected.


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Vampire Joke

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic? Wait for him to give it back.


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Bumper Stickers - 4

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong. . .



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