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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: collegehumor youtube etc etc

 

Internet Joke

What did the hypnotist say when he got his own website. . . . Hyp, Hyp Hooray.


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War Joke

A young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy, seeing the young Lt. 's green uniform asks him if he was in the Army. The Lt. smiles and say's, 'Why yes I am. . . you wanna wear my hat?' The boy nods and the hat is placed on his head. As the boy admired himself in the mirror, the bathroom door slammed open and an old Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt walked in. He was decked out in his Dress Blue Uniform, with medals down his chest. The boy, seeing the uniform asked him, 'Hey, are you a Marine?' The Gunnery Sgt peared down at the boy and responded, 'That's right! Why? Do wanna suck me off?' The boy replied nervously, 'I-I-I'm not in the Army!! I'm just wearing his hat!!'Sent by Brian


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Accountant Joke

An auditor is checking the books of an airline. He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to Canberra flight. He rings up the pilot and asks for an explanation. 'It was late at night'' says the pilot, 'Canberra was covered in fog and I lost my bearings. ' 'I'm sorry, ' says the auditor, 'but you'll have to bear the cost yourself. ' 'The cost of what?' asks the pilot. 'Of the bearings you lost. '


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Relationships Joke

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. 'Father, ' he said, 'I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. 'His father replied, 'Don't you love this girl?''Oh yes, very much, ' he said, ' but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them. ''No problem, ' said dad, 'all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed. ' Well, to him this seemed a workable solution. The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom. ' Mom, ' she said, 'When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful. ''Honey, ' her mother consoled, 'everyone has bad breath in the morning. ''No, you don't understand, . My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me. 'Her mother said simply, 'Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth. ''I shouldn't say good morning or anything?' the daughter asked. 'Not a word, ' her mother affirmed. 'Well, it's certainly worth a try, ' she thought. The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, 'What on earth are you doing?''Oh, my, ' he replies, 'you've swallowed my sock!'


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Satire Joke

As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, 'Mom, look at this, ' and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, 'Mommy is gonna eat your fingers!' pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face and tears down her face. I said, 'What's wrong honey?'Sad and broken up she looked at me and said -'Mommy, where's my booger?


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Weird Women Joke

Age EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES 17 Need to wash my hair 25 Need to wash and condition my hair 35 Need to color my hair 48 Need to have Francois color my hair 66 Need to have Francois color my wig


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Joke for Speeches

Knock Knock Who's there? Ketchup Ketchup who? Catch up with me and I'll tell you!


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Knock Knock Joke - 3

Knock Knock Who's there ! Candice ! Candice who ? Candice get any better !


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Bumper Stickers - 5

If your gonna be a turd then go lie out in the yard.


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Sports Humor

How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb?Nine. One to screw in the bulb while the other 8 hold up the mirrors.



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