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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college textbooks etc etc

 

Farming Joke

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. 'Who's the boss around here?' he asked. 'I am. ' said the man. 'I have a black horse and a brown horse, ' the farmer said, 'which one would you like?' The man thought for a minute and said, 'The black one. ' 'No, no, no, get the brown one. ' the man's wife said. 'Here's your chicken. ' said the farmer.


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Father Joke

Little Johnny's teacher said, 'Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's. '

Did you copy hers?, she asked.

Johnny replied, 'No, teacher, it's the same dog!'


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Funny Famous Joke

Did you hear about the heavyset guy who had tried every diet in the world in an attempt to lose weight? He tried the Scarsdale diet, the Navy diet, Weight Watchers, and many more. None worked. One day, he was reading the Washington Post when he noticed a small ad which read:Lose weightOnly $1. 00 a poundCall (202) 208-0238The man decided to give it a try and called the number. A voice on the other end asked, 'How much weight do you want to lose?


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Joke Online

A therapist told a woman to use some imagination while making love with her husband to spice things up. She replied, 'You mean imagine that it's good?!'


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Bible Joke

And Jesus said unto his disciples, 'Whom do men say that I am?' And His disciples answered unto Him, 'Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch. ' And Jesus said, 'What?'


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Silliest Joke

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?A. A gigolo only screws one person at a time.


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Sad Joke

You know you're out of college when. . . 1. Your salary is less than your tuition. 2. Your potted plants stay alive. 3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd. 4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 5. You have to pay your own credit card bill. 6. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal. 7. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year. 8. 8:00 am is not early. 9. You have to file your own taxes. 10. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work. 11. You're not carded anymore. 12. You carry an umbrella. 13. You learn that bachelor is a nice term for 'jackass'. 14. 'Extended childhood' only really pertains to your salary which is a little less than your allowance used to be. 15 . 'Twenty-something' means over-qualified, under-paid and not married. 16. Your friends marry instead of hook-up and divorce instead of break-up. 17. You start watching the weather channel. 18. Jeans, flannels and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe. 19. You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack. 20. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7. 21. You stop confusing 401k plan with 10K run. 22. You go to parties that police don't raid. 23. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you. . . and they're no longer 'adults' - they are your peers. 24. You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore. 25. Your car insurance goes down. 26. You refer to college students as kids. 27. You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon and rum. 28. Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren. 29. You feed your dog science diet instead of taco bell. 30. Your idea of a rocking Friday night is scoring one of the new releases at Blockbuster. 31. Half your conversations with current college students start with, 'When I was in college. . . '


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Gorilla Joke

Where did the Gorilla play baseball? In the bush leagues, of course!


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Food Joke

What food is good for the brain? Noodle soup.


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Bumper Stickers - 1

Forget about World Peace. . . . . Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !



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