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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college sweatshirts etc etc

 

Bizarre Joke

fter all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists for the CIA assasin position two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her. ' The first man said. 'You cant be serious. I could never shoot my wife. ' The agent replies, 'Then youre not the right man for this job. ' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. 'I tried, but I cant kill my wife. ' The agent replies 'You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home. ' Finally, it was the womans turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, 'You guys didnt tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair. '


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Irish Joke

'Hey Patrick, do I hear you spitting in the vase on the mantelpiece ?' 'No, Nora, but I'm getting closer all the time !'


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Doctor Joke

A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance. But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why ! The boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into the 3 words : Psycho-the-rapist.


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E-mail Joke

How do dolphins send messages? By sea-mail.


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Weird Women Joke

The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, 'If you can read this you're too damn close' embroidered on her panties and bra. 'Yes Madame, ' said the clerk. 'I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?' 'Braille, ' she replied.


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Aviation Joke

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room. 'You can't get out of your room?' the captain asked, 'Why not?' The stewardess replied, 'There are only three doors in here, 'she cried, ' one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!'


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Lawyer Joke

A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: 'Oh, I see your attorney lost the case!' The defendant answered, 'No, we won. '


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Bumper Stickers - 4

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!


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Law Joke

What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.


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Doctor and nurse Joke

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye?



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