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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college stuff etc etc


Blonde Joke - 1

'Have you heard my knock-knock joke?'' asked the blonde. ''No, '' said the brunette. ''Okay, '' said the blonde, ''you start. ''

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Dumb Men Joke

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind 2. No business.

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Cow Joke

What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.

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Old Age Joke

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

'I couldn't help noticing how happy you look,' she said. 'What's your secret for a long happy life?'

'I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,' he said. 'I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise. '

'That's amazing,' the woman said. 'How old are you?'

'Twenty-six,' he said.

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Accountant Joke

The auditors have just left, sir. 'Did they check the books?' 'Very thoroughly. ' 'What did they say?' 'They want 15% to keep quiet. '

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Salesmen Joke

An inexperienced real estate salesman asked his boss if he could refund the deposit to an angry customer who had discovered that the lot he had bought was under water. 'What kind of salesman are you?' the boss scolded. 'Get out there and sell him a boat. '

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Humorous Joke

Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air. He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound. The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound. He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound. He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, 'How deep is this hole?' The farmer said, 'Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?' The man, not wanting to g et the blame, said, 'No. ' The farmer said, 'Oh well. He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam. '

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College Humor

What's the difference between a terrorist and a wife?You can negotiate with the terrorist!

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Bizarre Joke

An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U. S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U. S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said. ' In the U. S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak'. The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, ' In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to piss on our hands . . . ! '

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Bible Joke

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. 'Reverend, ' she said, 'I have a problem--my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?' 'I have an idea, ' said the minister. 'Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg. ' In church the following Sunday, Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. 'And who lay made the ultimate sacrifice for you?' he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. 'Jesus!' Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin. 'Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones, ' said the minister. Soon, Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. 'Who is your redeemer?' he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. 'God!' Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. 'Right again, ' said the minister, smiling. Before long, Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, 'And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his last son?' Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, 'You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass!'

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