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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college student quotes etc etc

 

Elderly People Joke

Willy's rolling down the hall of a retirement home actinglike he's driving a car, an orderly turns the corner andasks Willy what he's doing. Willy replies, 'I'm going to Chicago for the weekend. 'The orderly chuckles and enters Bob's room to check on him. He catchs Bob pleasuring himself, when asked what he is doing, Bob replies, 'I'm screwing Willy's old lady while he's awayin Chicago. '


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Dumb Men Joke

Why do men prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company


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Dirty Joke

Winnie-the-Pooh is eating a roll. Piglet arrives. - Give me some roll, Winnie! - It's not a roll, it's a bun. - Give me some bun, Winnie! - It's not a bun, it's a bap. - Give me some bap, Winnie! - Get lost, you pig! Stop being such a pain in the neck! You can't even make up your mind!


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Family Comedy Joke

100 facecloths 25 darning needles any kind of keychain with something _way_ too big to fit in pocket or purse bag of potting mix box of legal size hanging file folders bucket of sand cat door cellophane tape and staples dairy for 1991 exquisitely wrapped house-brick framed photo of Richard Nixon (signed 'all the best for 73 - Rich') globe hat rack his and hers dishwashing liquid. map of West Brazil mixer (for the non-cooking couple) mobile modern art sculpture (plastic one that resembled pile of poop) nicely wrapped ream of photocopy paper one shoe receipt book salad shooter (this one is a classic :-) silver plated yo-yo (my sister got one of these) spice rack step ladder towel/bathrobe with someone else's name on it. towrope triangular prism paperweight (we got one of these)


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Business Joke

A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, 'Do you have any small note-books?'

'Sorry,' says the manager. 'We're all out. '

The woman shrugs, and asks, 'Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?'

'Nope, don't have that either,' says the manager.

The woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, 'Do you have Doritos? Nachos?'

The manager shrugs, 'Sorry. '

'Hmmph. How about Chapstick?' says the woman.

'Nope. Don't have that. '

'Wow!' the woman shouts, 'If you don't have anything, you should close the stupid store!'

The manager shrugs, 'Don't have the key. '


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Practical Joke

TOP 10 REASONS FISHING IS BETTER THAN SEX. . . . 10. LASTS FROM DAWN TILL DUSK9. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SECRET HOLE8. ALLOWED SEVERAL FISH DAILY7. CAN CHOOSE THE LENGTH OF YOUR ROD6. CAN FISH ANY TIME OF THE MONTH5. YOU CLEAN IT BEFORE YOU EAT IT4. ABLE TO TAKE A NAP WHILE YOU FISH3. THE COST OF BAIT IS CHEAPER THAN A DATE2. YOU CAN ALWAYS THROW IT BACK1. YOUR FAVORITE CATCH CAN BE MOUNTED ON THE WALL


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Irish Joke

Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. 'We have 99' replied the shop owner 'Give us the lot' said the Irish man, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off. He hit the ground with an almighty smack and lay there groaning until a passer-by came and asked him what had happened. 'I don't know sur' he replied 'but that's the last time I try that budgie jumping'


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E-mail Joke

Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils that I'm ugly! Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret.


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Government Humor

Why did clinton follow the chicken across the road? because, he couldn't get his dick out of its ass. Sent by BL. STEVENS


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Gender Joke

The top six reasons computers must be female: 6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner. 5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic. 4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 2. The message 'Bad Command or File Name' is about as informative as 'If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you'. AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE: As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.



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