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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college sluts etc etc

 

History Joke

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies.


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Doctor Joke

A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom Salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.

The man said that he actually felt worse. 'Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?' the Doc asked.

'No,' replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. 'I could only do about 15 minutes!'


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Bumper Stickers - 1

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you


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Divorce Joke

A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce. Attorney: 'May I help you?' Hillbilly: 'Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces'. Attorney: 'Well do you have any grounds?' Hillbilly: 'Yea, I got about a hundred acres. ' Attorney: 'No, you don't understand, do you have a case?' Hillbilly: 'No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere. ' Attorney: 'I mean, do you have a grudge?' Hillbilly: 'Yea, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere. ' Attorney: 'No sir, I mean do you have a suit?' Hillbilly: 'Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays. ' Attorney: 'Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?' Hillbilly: 'No sir, we both get up about 4:30 in the morning. ' Attorney: 'Well, is she a nagger or anything?!?!?!?' Hillbilly: 'No she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger . That's why I want this dayvorce. '


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Law and Lawyer Joke

A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule. 'Alright, ' the lawyer says looking through his papers. 'You owe me $1000 down and $417. 58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months. 'What! That sounds like a car payment schedule, ' retorted the client. 'Your right. It's mine. '


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Aviation Joke

While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson
looked
out the window. 'Good lord!' he screamed, 'one of the engines just blew
up!'
Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the
aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on
the
other side. The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses
couldn’t maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently,

the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was
nothing
to worry about. His words and his demeanor seemed to make most of the
passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to
the
door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the
seats
and began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attached

the package to their backs. 'Say,' spoke up an alert passenger, 'aren’t
those
parachutes?' The pilot said they were. The passenger went on, 'But I
thought
you said there was nothing to worry about?' 'There isn’t,' replied the
pilot
as a third engine exploded. 'We’re going to get help. '



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Relationships Joke

'Daddy?' the kid asked his father. 'Where did I come from?''Ask your mother, ' he replied. 'I did, ' the kid said. 'But I don't think she was telling the truth. She said I came from a bucket. ''Hmmmm, ' chuckled his dad. 'That's about the size of it?'


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Top 100 Joke

Random Thoughts:When I die I want to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather; not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. I always try to count my blessings, but I am no good at fractions. War decides not who is right, but who is left.


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Aviation Joke

Acronyms for International AirlinesItalyALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In ArrivalALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia--------------------------------------------------------------------------------BritainBOAC = Better on a camel --------------------------------------------------------------------------------BelgiumSABENA = Such A Bloody Experience Never Again--------------------------------------------------------------------------------PakistanPIA = Please, Inform Allah--------------------------------------------------------------------------------YugoslaviaJAT = Joke About Time--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Pacific Western AirlinesPWA = Pray While AloftPWA = Please Wait Awhile Airlines--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Trans World Airlines = Teeney Weeny Airlines.


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Burger Joke

What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning? Well, it's back to the old grind!



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