Categories

Top Humor

Insults
Fun Facts

Weird Laws

College Quotations

Michael Jackson

Student Cookie Recipes

College Quotations

Halloween Costumes

Top 100 Optical Illusions

Nicki Minaj Lyrics and Pictures

Cheryl Cole Lyrics and Pictures

Weird Laws

Cat poems and quotations

Sexiest Girls in the World


Joke Collection


Job Jokes

Joke Collection - 1

Joke Collection - 2

Joke Collection - 3

Joke Collection - 4

Joke Collection - 5

Joke Collection - 6

Joke Collection - 7

Joke Collection - 8

Joke Collection - 9

Joke Collection - 10

Joke Collection - 11

Joke Collection - 12

Joke Collection - 13

Joke Collection - 14

Joke Collection - 15


Weird and Wonderful


Graffiti

Halloween Costumes

Anime Girls Pictures

Aliens & UFOs

Wet Bikini Girls Fighting

College Girls Pictures

Student Cookie Recipes

Chocolate Recipes

Cocktails

Tongue Twisters

Serial Killers


Song Lyrics


AC/DC

Barbra Streisand

Beach Boys

Blondie

Bob Dylan

Buddy Holly

Eagles

Elton John

Genesis

Led Zeppelin

Michael Jackson

Paul McCartney

Paul Oakenfold

Paul Simon

Pink Floyd

Queen

Simon and Garfunkel

Simple Minds

Simply Red

The Beatles

The Rolling Stones


Great Sites

 

Our Other Websites

Free Diet Plans

Weird Websites

Scottish Proverbs

Guide to Sex

Love Poems

Inspirational Poems

Funny Poems

Famous Poems

Free Dating

Funny Jokes Online

MOCKERY

Ghost Pictures

Ghost Stories

Hilarious Horoscopes

Bizarre Webcam

notMENSA

Cheap posters

Raunchiest Riddles

Top Paying Keywords

Keyword Suggestions

Everything!!!

Weird eBay

Children's Books

Scottish Jokes

Robert Burns Poems

Midge Jokes

Fathers Jokes

Funny Jokes

Love Quotes

Famous Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Funny Quotes

Movie Quotes

Friendship Quotes

Birthday Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Quote of the Day

War Poets

Weird

Complete Nonsense

 

College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college pictures etc etc

 

American Joke

The phone rings at the FBI headquarters. 'Hello?'
'Hello, is this FBI?'
'Yes. What do you want?'
'I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood. '
'This will be noted. '
Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave.
The phone rings at Tom's house. 'Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?' 'Yeah!' 'Did they chop your firewood?' 'Yeah they did. ' 'Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed. '


= = = = = = = = = =



Doctor and nurse Joke

Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature? Nurse: No. Is it missing?


= = = = = = = = = =



Doctor Joke

A man comes into the ER and yells; 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one.


= = = = = = = = = =



Religious Joke

The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said 'Whoever is not willing to take a bullet for Jesus better leave now. ' More than half of the congregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their masks, sat in the front row and said, 'Okay, Reverend, you can preach now. All the hyprocrites are gone. '


= = = = = = = = = =



Christmas Joke - 2

What is the cow's holiday greeting? Mooooory Christmas!


= = = = = = = = = =



Travel and tourist Joke

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. 'Not very long, ' answered the Mexican. 'But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?' asked the tourist. The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. The tourist asked, 'So what do you do with the rest of your time?' 'I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, spend time with my wife. . . In the evenings I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, chase the senioras, and sing a few songs. I have a full life. ' The tourist said, 'I have a M. B. A. from Stanford and I can help you. You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue , you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New Jersey! From there you can direct your huge enterprise. ' 'How long would that take?' asked the Mexican. 'Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years, ' replied the tourist. 'And after that?' asked the Mexican. 'Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting, ' answered the tourist, laughing. 'When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!' 'Millions? Really?' asked the Mexican. 'And after that?' The tourist replied, 'After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village n ear the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, spend time with your wife, and spend your evenings drinking and playing the guitar with your friends!'


= = = = = = = = = =



Situations Humor

The Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co pilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start spooling up and the airplane starts moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the co pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the Captain: 'You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we're gonna get killed!'


= = = = = = = = = =



Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!

A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, 'Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I'm so mad, I can't even see straight. ' The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink and says, 'Gimme another one. ' The bartender pours the drink, but says, 'Now, before I give you this, why don't you let off a little steam and tell me why you're so upset?' So, the man begins his tale. 'Well, I was sitting in the bar next door, when this gorgeous blonde slinks in and actually sits beside me at the bar. I thought, 'Wow, this has never happened before. ' You know, it was kind of a fantasy come true. Well, a couple of minutes later, the blonde leans over and asks if I'd like to come back to her hotel to have dinner and talk for a while. I couldn't believe this was happening, r\nand I hadn't had a good meal in quite a while. I managed to nod my head yes, so she grabs my hand and starts walking out of the bar. This seemed just too good to be true. ' He continued, 'She took me down the street here to a nice hotel and up to her room. She said to relax, watch some TV, and that she would be ready to go down to the restaurant in a few minutes. But, as soon as I put my feet up and reclined my chair, I heard some keys jingling and someone starts fumbling with the door. ' 'The blonde says, 'Oh my god, it's my boyfriend. He must have lost his wrestling match tonight, he's gonna be real mad. Quick, hide!'' 'So, I opened the closet, but I figured that was probably the first place he would look, so I didn't hide there. Then I looked under the bed, but no, I figured he's bound to look there, too. By now, I could hear the key in the lock. I noticed the window was open, so I climbed out and wa s hanging there by my fingers, praying that the guy wouldn't see me. ' The bartender says 'Well I can see how you might be a bit frustrated at this point. ' 'Well, yeah, but I hear the guy finally get the door open and he yells out, 'Who you been with now, you witch?' The girl says, 'Nobody, honey, now calm down. '' Well, the guy starts tearing up the room. I hear him tear the door off the closet and throw it across the room. I'm thinking, 'Boy, I'm glad I didn't hide in there. ' Then I hear him lift up the bed and throw it across the room. Good thing I didn't hide under there either. Then I heard him say, 'What's that over there by the window?' I think, 'Oh God, I'm dead meat now. ' But, the blonde by now is trying real hard to distract him and convince him to stop looking. Well, I hear the guy go into the bathroom and I hear water running for a long time; I figure maybe he's gonna take a bath or something, when all of a sudden, the jerk pours a pitcher of scalding hot water out of the window right on top of my head. I mean, look at this, I got second degree burns all over my scalp and shoulders!' The bartender says, 'Oh man, that would have gotten me mad for sure. ' 'No, that didn't really bother me. Next, the guy starts slamming the window shut over and over on my hands. I mean, look at my fingers. They're a bloody mess. I can hardly hold onto this glass. ' The bartender looks at the guy's hands and says, 'Yeah, buddy, I can understand why you are so upset. ' 'No, that wasn't what really got me so angry though. ' The bartender then asks in exasperation, 'Well, then, what did finally make you anger?' 'Well, I was hanging on the window, and I turned around and looked down--I was only about six inches off the ground. '


= = = = = = = = = =



Travel and tourist Joke

What does a witch get if she's a poor traveler? Broom sick.


= = = = = = = = = =



Love and Marriage Joke

Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying. 'Well, ' says the old fellow, 'I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves. ' The policeman looks at the old man and says, 'You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!' So the old man says, 'I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!'



<-- Previous     |     Next -->

 

 

 

 

 

<< If you like this joke then waste some time checking out our collection of over 100,00 amazing jokes >>

  More Jokes


 

 
 
 
Interesting
  

College Humor website is brought to you using 100% recycled electrons.

Please help the environment - recycle this website by send the link to all your friends.

 

 

 

 

Free Diet Plans

 

 

<< Note: Many of the jokes, poems, pictures etc on this site have been contributed by visitors - if you find anything that should not be here please contact the webmaster   >>  

Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.    College-Humor.info