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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college parties etc etc

 

Firefighter Joke

Q. What does CHAOS stand for? A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.


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Doctor and nurse Joke

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee Have you tried taking the spoon out?


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Blonde Joke - 1

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, ' Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!' The officer looks at her, then says, 'Ma'am, That's your air freshener. '


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Bumper Stickers - 7

There are two kinds of drivers; those who make dust & those who eat it. .


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Political Joke

A political man to a woman, 'You look beautiful today!!!!' The woman replied, 'Thanks, but unfortunately I could not say the same about you. ' 'Sure you could!!' said the political man, 'if you could lie as well as I do!'


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Witch Joke

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells.


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Assorted Joke

Student: Can I use the bathroom?Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's. Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZTeacher: Where's the P?Student: Its running down my leg!


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Old Age Joke

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. ' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, 'Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him. ' At this point the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, 'If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!'


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Car and train Joke

When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step. 'If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you. '


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Funny Kids Joke

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a spoon. '

'Sit over there please and don't stir. '



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