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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college olympics etc etc

 

Gorilla Joke

Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues? His balk was worse than his bite!


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Kids Puns

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster. The current rooster was still doing okay, but he was getting on in years, and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium and turns him loose in the barn yard. The old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. 'So, they're trying to replace me', thinks the old rooster. 'I've got to do something about this'. He walks up to the new bird and says, 'So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself'. The young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. 'You're on' said the young rooster. 'And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy, ' said the young rooster. The two roosters went to the hen house to start the race and all the hens gathered to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little but he's still hanging in there. Sadly, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young rooster. By now the farmer has heard all the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barn yard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away. As he walks away slowly, he says to himself. . . . . . . . 'Damn, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month!'


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Bumper Stickers - 1

I am not unemployed I am a consultant


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Book title Joke

Keep on Trying by Percy Vere


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Romance Joke

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, 'My husband suffers from premature ejaculation. 'The counselor turns to her husband and inquires 'Is that true?' The husband replies 'Well not exactly, she's the one that suffers, not me. '


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Ethnic Joke - 2

Q: Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog? (hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves residues at each Pole.


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Kids Puns

A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, 'Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your breasts and say, ''Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies. ''She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked! She grew great boobs!One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her new boobs and didn't want to lose them, so she got up right in the middle of the bus and said, 'Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies!'A guy sitting nearby asked her, 'Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?''Why, yes, I do. How did you know?''Hickory dickory dock'!


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Ethnic Joke - 1

Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr. Ho and Mr. Chen. They were neighbors but happened to be very competitive. One day Mr. Ho decided to start a shoe business, he named his store WE DO SHOE. now Mr. Chen decided he must compete with Mr. Ho, so he started a shoe business right next door to Mr. Ho's store and he named it SHOE DO WE.


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Computer Joke

You know computers have taken over your life when. . .
You hum the Windows opening theme when ever you wake up. You think the numbers on tombstones are high scores. You use Google to search for your car keys. You actually hand in work from EssayGenerator. com You keep getting fired as you beat up you boss thinking that you’ll get to the next level. You keep a trash can and a selection of neatly arranged folders on your desktop. You excuse yourself to go to the toilet by anouncing that you have to 'download' You try to shut windows by tapping them on the top right corner. You refer to meals as 'power ups'. You call christmas a 'bonus round'.


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Love and Marriage Joke

Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, 'Cow For Sale. . . $5000. ' He pulls in and says to the farmer, 'There's no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars. ' The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this. ' He lifts the cow's tail, and Harry sees the cow has a snatch just like a woman. Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife, and says, 'It's just not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow with a snatch like a woman, and it's worth $'5000



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