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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college hunor etc etc

 

Simple Joke

Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how. . . An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Surfing in Nebraska. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a casserole. The cheese slid off his cracker. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.


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Mental health Joke

Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!


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Children Joke

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold creamon her face. 'Why do you do that, Mommy?''To make myself beautiful, ' said his mother, who then began removingthe cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'


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Joke for Speeches

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says, 'Here's a pill for English literature. ' The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!'What else do you have?' asks the student. 'Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history, ' replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, 'Do you have a pill for math?'The pharmacist says, 'Wait just a moment, ' goes back into the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plunks it on the counter. 'I have to take that huge pill for math?' inquires the student. The pharmacist replied, 'Well, you know math always was a little hard to swallow. '


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Snake Joke

What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until he's finished.


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Dirty Joke

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. 'What happened to you?' asked Bill. 'Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me. ' 'My God, what did you tell them?' asks Clinton. The driver replies, 'I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig. '


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Monster Joke

What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the movie theater? You miss most of the film.


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Ethnic Joke - 1

Jewish view on when life begins: There's a big controversyon when life begins. In Jewish tradition the fetus is notconsidered viable until after it graduates from medical school.


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Ouch Joke

This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks 'Whats a failic symbol?Doctor says 'you're kidding. . 'Girl says 'no! I don't know! Whats a failic symbol???'Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says 'You see? This is afailic symbol!'Girl says 'Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller'


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Website Joke

Who looks after the EuroDisney website? Mick e-mouse.



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