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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college guys etc etc

 

Blonde Joke - 3

Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night.


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Joke for Speeches

Showing his friend around his his home, Jennings pointed out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage. 'The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth. ' 'Well, ' his friend replies, 'since you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, you'll never be able to sell!' 'And that's where you're wrong, ' the man smiled. 'If I sell it, my wife would kill me!'


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Easter Joke

How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!


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Poker and Gambling Joke

Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to swear?



A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!


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Lawyer Joke

The bartender asks him 'What'll you have?'. The guy answers, 'A scotch, please'. The bartender hands him the drink, and says 'That'll be five dollars', to which he replies 'What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this'. A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, 'You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which consitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration'. The bartender's not impressed, but says to the guy, 'Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again'. The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, 'What the hell are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!'. The guy says 'What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life', to which the bartender replies 'I'm \r nvery sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double. ' To which the guy replies 'Thank you! Make it a scotch. '


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Ethnic Joke - 1

How do you sink a Polish submarine? You knock on the door.


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Yo momma Joke

Yo momma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.


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Relationships Joke

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. 'You'll get your chance in court, ' said the desk sergeant. 'No, no, no!' said the man. 'I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!'


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School Joke

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: 'Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face. '

'Yes, sir,' the boys said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted, ''It's because yer feet ain't empty. '



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Bumper Stickers - 4

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. . . not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. . . .



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