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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college drunk etc etc

 

Bumper Stickers - 4

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


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Weirdest Joke

How is a man like the weather?Nothing can be done to change either one of them.


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Pig Joke

What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail? 'That's the end of me!'


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Science Joke

A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a large knob of salami. 'Would you like it sliced, sir?' the shopkeeper asked politely. 'What do you think I am?' replied the fag, '. . . a money box!'


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Dog Joke - 1

How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped you to set up your computer?
With dog diskettes!



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Religion Joke

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before theyrealize there is no soap. Father John says he hassome soap in his room and goes to get it, notbothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap inhis hands and heads back to the showers. He getshalfway down the hall when he sees three nunsheading his way. Having no place to hide, hestands against the wall and freezes like he's astatue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls hisdick. Startled, he drops a bar of soap. 'Oh look, ' says the 2nd nun. . . 'A soap dispenser. 'To test her theory she also pulls his dick. . . andsure enough he drops the last bar of soap. Thethird nun then pulls, first once, then twice andthree times. Still nothing happens. So she triesonce more and to her delight she yells. . . 'Look, hand cream!'


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Political Joke

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. 'Ma, ' he shouted, 'the results are in. I won the election!' 'Honestly?' The politician's smiled faded. 'Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?'


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Animal World

A blind man is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting to cross the street, when his pooch lifts his leg and pisses down the side of his nice herringbone tweed trousers. The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a doggie biscuit which he starts to offer to Fido. A businessman, who is also waiting to cross the street, observes this happening and interrupts, 'Excuse me buddy, but are you aware of the fact that your dog just pissed all down the leg of your pants?' 'Yes, I'm trying to break him of this dreadful habit', replies the blind man. 'Well, it's none of my business, ' says the onlooker, 'but you're not going to teach him much by rewarding him with a biscuit!' To which the blind fellow chuckles, 'Oh I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!'


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Irish Joke

(Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI109 from Madrid to Dublin the Plane encounters a serious problem with the Instrument landing systems. In a Fit of Panic, Paddy the Pilot turns to his co-Pilot and says. 'Jazus Mick. . . Well have to turn back. . . none of the equipment is working!. ' Mick says to Paddy; 'No Problem. . . Sure I can tell where we are by sticking my hand out the Window! 'OK!' says Paddy, 'Where are we then?'Mick winds down the window and sticks his hand out and replies; 'Well Paddy, I reckon were over the Bay of Biscay. The humidity seems to be gone out of the air. This is caused by the seawater. Just Head North''Brilliant!' replies Paddy, and precedes north bound. Fifteen Minutes later Paddy asks: ' Where are we now Mick?'Mick winds down the window and sticks his hand out and replies; ' Were over the English Channel now. The air is much cooler here. Just head in a north easterly direction. 'Thirty minutes Later Paddy asks: ' Where are we now Mick?' Mick winds down the window and sticks his hand out and replies; 'Were over the Ballymun flats. Quick. . . Bank left here and you should be on Course for Runway One. Paddy, Responds and 5 minutes later the plane lands safely on Runway One. Paddy turns to Mick and says: 'That was Brilliant. . . But. . . Tell Me . How did you know we were over the Ballymun Flats'. 'Well!' said Mick. . . When I pulled my hand back in. . My Watch was Gone!'


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Waiter Joke

Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup! Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.



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