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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college board etc etc

 

Bumper Stickers - 4

I wish I lived in New York, so I could have Voted Against Hilary!


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Journalist Joke

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. 'Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?' To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, 'No, I won't sleep with you tonight!' Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, 'I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations. ' To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, 'What do you mean $200?'


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Naughty Joke

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, 'Mama! I have someone for you to meet. ' Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. One room and the normal follow up to that. Their first night there she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks 'Why the panties?'She replies, 'My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning, ' He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She standing there with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit; except that he has an erection on which he has a black condom. She looks at him and asks, 'What's with this. . . a black condom?'He replies, 'I'm going to offer my condolences. '


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Spoof Joke

An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help you lad?''Yesh, Shombody shtole me car!', the Irishman replies. The cop asks, 'Well now, where was your car last time you saw it?''It was at the end of this key. 'About this time the cop looks down to see that the Irishman's member is being exhibited for all to see. He then asks, 'Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?'The Irishman looks down woefully and moans 'OOH GOD. . . they got me girl too!'


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Pig Joke

What do piggys take when they are sick? Pigicillin!


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Dirty Joke

Q: Why did god give blonde's 2 more brain cells than he gave cows? A: So they wouldn't shit all over when you played with their tits.


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Fishing Joke

How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line!


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Romance Joke

Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.


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School Joke for Kids

One day a man went hunting for ducks. When he was done he was going to his Chevy and he got a vist from The Game Warden. The Warden said 'Hey Sir, what ya huntin?'The man said 'Ducks. 'The Warden said 'Did ya have any luck?'He said 'Got 3. 'The Warden said 'Let Me see them. ' The Warden stuck his finger up the ducks butt, smelled it and said 'This duck is from Ohio, do you have a stamp for it?'The Man gave him the stamp. The Warden picked up the 2nd duck did the same thing and said 'Kentuky duck, got a stamp?'The man gave him the stamp. The Warden did the same thing with the last duck and said 'Canada duck. Stamp?'The man gave him the stamp. Then the Warden said 'Where you from anyway?'The man pulled down his pants and said 'You're the expert, you tell me!'


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Miscellaneous Joke

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, so a woman rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, 'It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid. ' The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, 'When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here. '



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