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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college basketball etc etc

 

Weather Joke

What type of wind is named after both a cat and a bat? Katabatic


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Letter Joke

What letter stands for the ocean? The letter C.


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History Joke

What was Camelot famous for ? It's knight life !


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Computer Joke

My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.


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Computers Joke

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95 Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbot: That's great Lou. What did you get? Costello: A Pentium II-'266


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Science Joke

A guy walks into a bar . . . once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, 'What the heck, I really want a drink. ' So he sits down at the bar, and the gay bartender says to him, 'What's the name of your penis?' The guy says, 'Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink. ' The gay bartender says, 'I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. ' So the guy looks at the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, 'Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?' The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, 'TIMEX. ' The guy asks, 'Why Timex?' The fella proudly replies, 'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!' A little shaken, the guy turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita, 'So, what do you call your penis?' The man to his right turns to him and proudly exclaims, 'FORD, because quality is Job 1', he then ads, 'Have you driven a Ford lately?' Even more shaken, the guy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. He turns to the bartender and exclaims, 'The name of my penis is SECRET. Now give me my beer. ' The bartender begins to pour the guy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, 'Why secret?' The guy says, 'because it's strong enough for a man but made for a woman!'


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Top 100 Joke

Q: What do a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?A: Either way somebody loses a trailer home!You know you're a redneck if your wife wants to take a bath but you have to move the transmision from the tub first. You know you're a red neck when you go to family reunions to pick up chicks!If you've been married three times and your in-laws aint changed then you might just be a redneck. If a sign reads say no to crack and you pull up your pants then you might just be a redneck. You know you are redneck when you mow your lawn and find a car. You know you are redneck when your favorite shirt is illegal in more then 15 states. You know you are redneck when you shut your car door and your gun makes you a sun-roof. You know you are redneck when your friends go water skiing while you are towing your boat to the lake. You might be a redneck if your exhaust system incorporates more than three wire hangers and at least two juice cans. You might be a redneck if you think 'fat-free' means undoing your belt and the first 3 buttons. You know you're a redneck when you think marriage vows are what your father-in-law promised to do to you if you didn't marry his daughter. You might be a redneck if an intimate evening at home consists of sharing the remote. You might be a redneck if it's easier to rotate your home than your TV antenna. You might be a redneck if you use old newspapers in more than 3 ways in your home. You know you're a redneck if you stare at the Orange Juice container because it says 'Concentrate. ' You know you're a redneck when some one yells 'hoe down' and your wife drops to the floor!You might be a redneck if you can relate to the following statements:1) 'Nothing says lovin' like lovin your cousin!' 2) 'Why go across town when you can go across the hall?'3) 'If you can't keep it in the pants then keep it in the family. ' You know you're a redneck when your family tree is a wreath. You know your a redneck when your town priest is also your town plummer. You know you're a redneck when you're front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs. You have a home that is mobil and 14 cars that aren't. You know you're a redneck when you have seven cars in your driveway, but only one works. What was the last thing the redneck said before he died?'Hey y'all, watch this!'You know your a redneck if your Thanksgiving turkey was once a family pet!You might be a redneck if you wear cowboy boots with shorts.


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Bar Joke - 2

Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said 'Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven. 'The Muslims said 'But we are good Christians!'St. Peter replied 'Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?'The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said 'I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!'St. Peter shook his head, and said 'Next!'The second Muslim guy then came up and said 'I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!'St. Peter sighed, and said 'Next!'So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says 'Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried him in a cave. After three days the Jesus man got up, went out of the cave, saw his shadow, and there was 6 more weeks of winter!'


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Political Joke

Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards. Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.


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Rabbit Joke

What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do!



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