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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college ass etc etc


Cow Joke

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er.

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Insect Joke

What kind of bees hum and drop things ? A fumble bee !

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Practical Joke

Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs If there's a war you can surrender really early You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries You can be ugly and still become a famous film star Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride People think you're a great lover even when you're not

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Teeth Joke

How does Snoop Dogg keep his canine teeth white? BLEEEEEE-YATCH!

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Religious Joke

Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. 'Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine, ' said the nun, gently patting his hand. 'We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?' 'No, I'm not, ' the man whispered hoarsely. 'Then can you pay in cash?' persisted the nun. 'I'm afraid I cannot, Sister. ' 'Well, do you have any close relatives?' the nun questioned sternly. 'Just my sister in New Mexico, ' he volunteered. 'But she's a humble spinster nun. ' 'Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not spinsters - they are married to God. ' 'Wonderful, ' said Mr. Smith. 'In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in -law. '

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Bumper Stickers - 3

How may i ignore you today?

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Dirty Joke

Why do men masturbate? It's sex with someone they love.

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Political Joke

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush, 'There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!' George Bush replies, 'Oh yeah and tell me what you see?' Osama answers, 'I can see New York, with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side, and everything is peaceful and wonderful. ' George Bush says, 'Wow is that what you see? Well I'll tell ya what I see for the future of Afghanistan. . . I see a house here, a house there, a small building here and small building there, but there are signs hanging in the middle of the street. ' Osama asks, 'And what do they say?' George answers, 'Hell, I don't know. I can't read Hebrew!'

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Computing Joke

Surfin' the NetSo I think I'm in the clearthe boss is no where in sightI logon to the web and start to surfand then my hair stands up with frightthe footsteps coming down the hallare quickening in pacethere is no time to exitno way to save my faceso I press the power buttonand relax just a bitthere is no way he can tellexactly what I hitI act all surpriseddon't know why my machine died'simply unpredictable thesecomputers are!' I cried'So we'll get you a new onea computer that won't crash' he exclaimsDo you think he'll wonderwhen the new one acts the same?

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Animal World

On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppyonboard, the man just hid the pup down the front of hispants and snunk him onboard the airplane. . About 30minutes into the trip a stew noticed the man shakingand quivering. 'Are you OK, sir?' asked the stew? 'Yes, I'm fine. ' said the man. Sometime later the stew noticed the man moaning, and shaking again. . 'Are you sure you're alright sir?' 'Yes. ' said the man, 'but I have a confession to make. I didn't have time to get the paperwork to bring a puppy onboard, so I hid him down the front of my pants. ' 'Whats wrong?' asked the stew, 'Is he not house broken?' 'No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!'

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