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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: college articles etc etc

 

Insect Joke

What do you call a bee Who's had a spell put on him ? He's bee-witched !


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Silliest Joke

Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and depressed. Doctor: You should cut down on drinks. Patient: I don't touch a drop. Doctor: You should cut down on smoking. Patient: I don't smoke. Doctor: You should stop taking drugs. Patient: I don't do drugs. Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing. Patient: Haven't touched a woman in my life. Doctor: In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, do some drugs, and find a couple of girlfriends!


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Easter Joke

What is a dog's favourite Easter treat? Jelly bones!


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Relationships Joke

A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife's breast a little feel and says, 'Mother, if this could give milk, we could get rid of the cow. ' His hand then travels down to her crotch, and he says, 'Mother, if this could give eggs, we could get rid of the chickens. ' His wife then reaches over and grabs his penis. 'Father, if this could stay hard, we could get rid of your brother.


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Easy to Remember Joke

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define 'great' he said, 'I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!' He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.


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Totally Strange Humor

Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold a real Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes. The Genie said, 'Nope. . . not these days. . . I'm only giving out 1 wish because of inflation. So. . . what'll be?'Bill didn't hesitate. He said, 'I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other. 'The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, 'Are you crazy! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish. 'Bill thought for a minute and said, 'You know, people really don't like my wife. They think she's a real witch and ugly as sin. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her. That's what I want!'The Genie thought for a minute and said, 'Hmmmmm. Lemme see that map again. '


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Mad Joke

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her. Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?' 'No, Silly!' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $'6


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Judge Joke

The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, 'I dont recognize this court!' 'Why?' asked the Judge. 'Because you've had it decorated since the last time I was here. '


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Bumper Stickers - 7

The meek will Internet the world.


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Computers Joke

PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry AcronymsISDN It Still Does NothingAPPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing EntitySCSI System Can't See ItDOS Defunct Operating SystemBASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry ControlIBM I Blame MicrosoftDEC Do Expect CutsCD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in MonthsOS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too. WWW World Wide WaitMACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs



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