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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: cavendish college etc etc

 

Weird Women Joke

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. 'No woman, ' said one man, scornfully, 'can keep a secret. ' 'I don't know about that, ' huffily answered a woman guest. 'I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one. ' 'You'll let it out some day, ' the man insisted. 'I hardly think so!' responded the lady. 'When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep itforever. '


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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!

A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, 'Hey aren't you going to pay for that?' The man says, 'Excuse me, Castro's Army. ' The bartender says, 'Alright then' and the man leaves. A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, 'Hey aren't you going to pay for that?' The man says, 'Excuse me, Castro's Army. ' The bartender says 'Alright then' and the man leaves. The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. He drinks the whisky then start s walking out the door. The bartender says, 'Hey aren't you going to pay for that?' The Scotsman says, 'Excuse me, Castro's Army. ' The bartender says, 'Hey where is your big black beard?' The Scotsman thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and says, 'Secret Service!'


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Hair and bald Joke

Peg-Leg Baldy A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says, 'No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again. ' So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume And again the man says, 'No, no. I can't wear that. It will make people notice my head. ' Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five-pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, 'Here. Just take this. ' Confused, the man says, 'What am I suposed to do with a bag of caramels?' Smiling, the shop owner says, 'Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over your body, stick that peg leg up your ass and tell everyone you're a caramel apple. '


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Short Stupid Joke

Dear Tech Support:I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1. 0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Boys Night Out 2. '5


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Pig Joke

Doctor, doctor, I've got a little sty.
Then you'd better buy a little pig.


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Comedian Joke

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?-George Carlin


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Legal Humor

No lawyers allowed- Prosecutors will be violated! If two lawyers were drowning, and you could only save one ofthem, would you read the paper or go to lunch?


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Joke for Halloween

Things Men Should 'Never' Say After Sex:1) 'I was kidding about being sterile, you know. '2) 'Do you always fart like that when someone shoves it in?'3) 'How come it's so BIG in there?'4) 'You've done this with a lotta guys before---right?'5) 'Next time I come over, don't bother with the underwear, OK?'6) (Sniff, sniff) 'Is that CAT food?'7) (Yelling) 'OK guys, it's a wrap, cut, and print it!!'8) 'You are great in bed, but your sister gives better head!'9) 'My first wife was prettier, but you can screw a lot better. '10)'Do you know what a 'douche' is?'11)'Maybe if you did some pushups, your boobs would grow. '12)'I want you to try some of MY deodorant. '13)'I'm not into relationships. Can't we just screw, like every Tuesday night or something?'14)'Maybe if you lost some weight, I could get it all the way in!'15)'I never saw a girl with hairy tits before !'16)'I've been getting these little blisters lately-------'17)'You wanna do those dishes before you leave?'18)'You should go wash that, the cabbie will think something DIED in there!'


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Fun Funny Joke

How do crazy people get through the forest?They take the psycho path.


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Bumper Stickers - 5

Im not tailgating im just tring to keep my bumper on.



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