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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: boston college etc etc

 

Dirty Joke

A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how she'd do. The blonde did so and competely duffed the shot. The pro said 'Your swing is good but you're gripping the club too hard - grip the club gently as you would your husband's penis. ' The blonde took another shot and nailed the ball 275 yards straight down the fairway. The pro said 'That was excellent! Let's try it again only this time take the club out of your mouth. '


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Dog Joke - 1

Advertisement: Dog for sale. Really gentle. Eats anything. Especially fond of children.


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Dirty Joke

Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!


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Journalist Joke

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? 'We just report the facts, we don't change them. ' Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.


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Doctor and nurse Joke

Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow. Doctor: How do you feel? Patient: A little down in the mouth.


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Various animal Joke

What do tigers wear in bed ? Stripey pyjamas !


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Naughty Joke

Sister Mary Holycard was in her 60s, and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon early in the spring a young priest came to chat, so she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She then invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young priest noticed a crystal glass bowl sitting on top of it filled with water, and in the water floated, a condom. Well, imagine how shocked and surprised he was. Imagine his curiosity! Surely, he thought, Sister Mary had flipped or something!When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat, and of course, the priest tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water, and the strange floater. Soon it got the better of him and he could resist no longer. 'Sister, ' he asked, 'I wonder if you could tell me about this?' (pointing to the crystal bowl)'Oh, yes, ' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?''I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know I haven't had a cold all winter!'


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Military Joke

Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away -- ka- boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away -- ka-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90 mph -- bulls-eye! 'I've got to get this guy!' Ross said to himself. 'He has the perfect arm!' So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football, and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history. The young Bosnian is lioni zed as the Great Hero of football, and when Ross asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother. 'Mom, ' he says into the phone, 'I just won the Super Bowl. ' 'I don't want to talk to you, ' the old woman says. 'You deserted us. You are not my son. ' 'I don't think you understand, Mother!' the young man pleads. 'I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans. ' 'No, let me tell you, ' the mother retorts. 'At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight. ' The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says '. . . I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit. '


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Joke for Kids

A Polak wanted to join an amateur baseball team. The coach looked him over and decided to give him a chance. 'I will give you three questions, ' said the coach. 'If you come back in a week and answer them all correctly, you're on the team. ''Fair enough!' said the Polak eagerly. The coach proceeded, 'Here are your questions. First, how many days are there in a week that start with the letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? And third, how many d's are there in 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?''Next week, the Polak came back, feeling all confident that he knew the right answers. So again the coach said, 'So how many days in the week that start with 'T'?'The Polak said, 'Two!''Very good!' said the coach. And what are they?''Today and Tomorrow!''Hmm. . . OK, ' said the coach. 'How many seconds are there in a year?''Twelve!''Twelve? How did you come up with twelve?' The coach was perplexed. 'Well, ' said the Polak, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, the second of. . . ''Um. . OK, ' broke in the coach. 'How many d's in 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'''Oh, that is easy!' laughed the Polak. 'Three hundred and sixty-five!''WHAT?' cried the coach. 'How did you get that figure?'To which the Polak sang, 'dee dee dee-dee-dee dee-dee. . . . '


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Monster Joke

How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster? On a piece rate.



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