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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: axia college etc etc

 

Joke for Halloween

There are three guys named Manners, Shutup, and Crap. They were really bored, so they decided to run a race. During the race, Crap fell down, and Manners stopped to help him. But Shutup ran so fast the police caught him. Here's how the conversation went:Police Officer #1: 'What's your name?'Shutup: 'Shutup. 'Police Officer #2: 'Where's your manners?'Shutup: Back there picking up Crap!'


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Sport Joke

Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond. 'Bob, Is that you?' Earl asked. 'Of course it me, ' Bob replied. 'This is unbelievable!' Earl exclaimed. 'So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?''Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?''Tell me the good news first. ''Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven, Earl. ''Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?''You're pitching tomorrow night. '


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Miscellaneous Joke

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, 'I've kidnapped you. 'She then wrote a note saying, 'I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $'10


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Burger Joke

Why is President Carter important to Hamburger Land in April? One the opening day of the baseball season, he throws out the first meatball!


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Military Joke

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, 'Halt, who goes there?' The chauffeur, a corporal, says, 'General Wheeler. ' 'I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield. ' The general said, 'Drive on!' The sentry said, 'Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker. ' The general repeated, 'I'm telling you, son, drive on!' The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, 'General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?'


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Celebrities Joke

Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt. 'Superman don't need no seat belt, ' Ali growled. 'Well, Superman, ' the stewardess replied, 'don't need no airplane!'


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Insect Joke

What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry ? An aero-drone !


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Situations Humor

A girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, 'When did this happen?' She replied, 'Last week. ' The police then asked, 'Why did you wait until now to report it?' Well, ' she said. 'I didn't know that I was assaulted until the check bounced. '


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Music Joke

Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies. He manages to make contact with Abe the next day. Abe says, 'I can't believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?' Max replies, 'Well, it's great, but I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The good news is that there's a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we're playing 'Sheherezade, ' your favorite piece, tomorrow night!' Abe says, 'So what's the bad news?' Max replies, 'Well, you're booked to play the solo!'


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Monster Joke

HWhy did the monster lie on his back? To trip up low-flying aircraft.



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