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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: amherst college etc etc

 

Relationships Joke

A stockbroker catches his wife in bed with another man. He says to her, 'What's going on?' She says, 'Believe it or not, John, I've gone public!'


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Family Comedy Joke

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, 'Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich. ' The second lady chimed in, 'Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down. ' The third one responded, ' Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem, knock on wood, ' as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them. . . 'That must be the door, I'll get it!'


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Yo momma Joke

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone


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Witch Joke

How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance ? 'Voodoo like to dance with me ?'


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Silliest Joke

A worried father confronted his daughter one night. 'I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it. ' 'Oh no, Daddy, ' the daughter replied, 'Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month. '


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Bumper Stickers - 7

wHAT IS THIS? BIZARROLAND??


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Bar Joke - 2

A guy goes into a bar and says, 'Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!' The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer. The guy drinks it fast. 'Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!'The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy. The guy drinks it fast. 'Quick another beer before the trouble starts!'The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly. Again, the guy drinks it fast. 'Quick another beer before the trouble starts!'The barman replies, 'Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?''I haven't got any money!'


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Simple Joke

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, 'If he gets loose, will he hurt us?'


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Dirty Joke

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.


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School Joke

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, 'Take only one. God is watching. '

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples. '



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