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College Humor - Student Jokes

Our fabulous collection of interesting college jokes that may help distract you from that awful assignment you need to get in tomorrow!!!!

Category: College Humor Jokes about: adult humor etc etc

 

Yo Mama Joke

Yo' mama so stupid, she thinks a quarterback is a refund!


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Stand Up Joke

This particular Wizard worked in a modern factory. Everything was satisfactory except that certain miscreants took advantage of his good nature, and would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following effective sign: This parking space belongs to the Wizard. . . . Violators will be toad!


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Kids Puns

GREETING CARDS UNSUCCESSFULLY MARKETED BY HALLMARK1. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I got one. . . I got real snippy. 2. I heard you had herpes. . . and I feel terrible. . . I'd say 'Get well soon'. . . but I know it's incurable. 3. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire. . . . I found your cat. . . Sorry!4. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends. . . . here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends. 5. You've announced that you're gay, and won't that be a laugh, when they find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. 6. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. . . look at the bright side, she's a really good lay. 7. Heard your wife left you. . . How upset you must be. . . Don't fret about your wife though. . . She's moving in with me. 8. Your computer is dead. . . and it was so alive. . . you shouldn't have installed. . . Win'95. 9. You totalled your car. . . and can't remember why. . . maybe it was. . . that case of Bud Dry10. So you lost your job. . . It's one of those hardships in life. . . Next time, work harder. . . and stay away from the boss's wife.


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Money Joke

How can a can you double your money? By folding it in half.


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Insect Joke

What goes hum-choo, hum choo? A bee with a cold !


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Humorous Joke

What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool? Show me your mussels.


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Friendship Joke

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.


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Hair and bald Joke

Customer: Why is my hairline receding? Barber: It's not. Your scalp is advancing.


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Joke Online

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading my book, ' she replies as she thinks to herself, 'Is this guy blind or what?' 'You're in a restricted fishing area, ' he informs her. 'But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?' 'But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to take you in and write you up. ' 'If you do that, I will charge you with rape, ' snaps the irate woman. 'I didn't even touch you, ' grouses the sheriff. 'Yes, that's true . . . but you have all the equipment . . . 'Moral: Never argue with a woman who knows how to read!


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Funniest Joke

Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell. Satan is giving him a VIP tour, showing him his options for spending eternity. They come to a room marked 'Hitler. ' Inside is Eva Braun, torturing Adolf Hitler with red-hot irons. Every time Hitler tries to escape, Eva applies another iron. 'I can't spend eternity like that, ' says Clinton. 'Show me something else. ' Satan takes him to another room marked 'Jack the Ripper. 'Inside are three mutilated prostitutes, stretching Jack on the rack. Every time Jack screams, the whores turn the wheel a little more. 'I can't spend eternity like that, either, ' says Clinton. 'Show me something better. ' Satan takes Bill to the last door. Inside, Kenneth Starr is being held up to the wall with chains around his wrists. At his groin is Monica Lewinsky giving him oral sex. Bill smiles. 'Yes!' he shouts, 'that's for me. ' Satan smirks and says 'Good choice, Mr. President. 'He looks down at Monica and says. . . 'You can get up now, Honey. We've finally found your replacement!'



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